James' Journal

It still seems like fear (‘me’) is the culprit and love is the antidote. Outside of self-immolating there may not be a way out of this. What exactly am ‘I’ afraid of? ‘I’ am afraid of losing ‘me’.

@leila I appreciate your reply and I do understand your point. She is not here now and the only problem is because of my feelings and thoughts about her which is only in my memory. So, the only problem is my memory. The solution sounds simple enough: lose my memory and enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive.

Veenito is not referring to turning fear into hate/anger (very bad idea). She’s is referring to another quality of fear, which is thrill. A form of excitement (sometimes bravery) to explore a certain facet of a belief, idea, feeling etc. In this case it can be used to explore the feeling of love deeply. But only if one is ready.

You cannot just loose a memory, can you? :wink:
What helped me when I was in the snare of love was to find activities to “fill out” the time when she was not there. For me it was videogames, movies, comedies, seeing friends etc. I had to learn how to tackle the other side of love, which is the feeling of loneliness, of not beeing whole/one etc. Essentially you’ll have to tackle that feeling of loneliness at some point. But only if you are ready for that. If not, then hobbies/activities would be the band aid solutions. At least it worked for me. Just as a suggestion.

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I went to see what you wrote, I saw that it was deleted, to tell you that I came here, I liked that deleted post, of course, I did it with laughter and mischief :smiley: :sweat_smile:

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Yes, I saw that you liked my deleted post. I was testing to see if my new chromebook was connected to the list. I liked it that you liked my deleted post. :slight_smile: How are you doing?

I’m fine …I’m actually feeling great , of course if someone does not come and leave me Thumbs Down now :sweat_smile:
it 's funny , Yesterday, Frankotto left me a Thumbs down ,then he came and for my complaining for the Thumbs down , he put a Thumbs up :sweat_smile: :sweat_smile:

I have found a lot of good things on this Forum since yesterday, I feel like I am moving forward very quickly !

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That’s great leila, I can see that you are moving forward. I am really glad that you are sticking with it.

I actually had no idea I put a thumbs down, it probably happened by accident!

But perhaps it gave you a good opportunity to apply the method :sweat_smile:

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:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: I assumed something like this had happened, but they really are useful accidents!

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I have applied a thumbs down by accident before.

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I think you were the pioneer

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Let’s get it all out there guys …

:unamused::disappointed::pensive::worried::confused::slightly_frowning_face::frowning::persevere::confounded::tired_face::weary::pleading_face::cry::sob::triumph::angry::rage::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::flushed::hot_face::face_in_clouds::scream::fearful::cold_sweat::disappointed_relieved::sweat::lying_face::no_mouth:🫥:neutral_face:🫤:expressionless::grimacing::roll_eyes::hushed::frowning_with_open_mouth::anguished::open_mouth::astonished::sleepy::face_exhaling::dizzy_face::face_with_spiral_eyes::zipper_mouth_face::woozy_face::nauseated_face::face_vomiting::sneezing_face::imp::skull_and_crossbones::-1::fu:

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That 's very funny :sweat_smile:, as soon as i saw that thumbs down , i went and deleted my writing …i had written it for Elgin …but after i was upset , i thought to myself ,maybe that was good , maybe he was letting me know that what i wrote was something bad … :smiley:

@Miguel No, jon was before me. He gave me a thumbs down whenever I mentioned the body.

Oh, then you were the first recipient! That’s an honor :smiley:

That would be a great actualist story:

– How did you become actually free?

– Well, the final process started with a thumb down, which allowed me to see that…

:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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Enjoying the perfection of it now. I see her on Sundays and we have fun working on her house, having a nice dinner and making out. I then come home and enjoy my life the rest of the week and she takes care of her business. There is nothing to fear. It is all perfect. Ain’t life grand.

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My current experience has been being the experience of what is happening w/o analyzing if this is pure intent, feeling good or what have you.

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My colonoscopy went well. The dr found three polyps which he is not concerned about and will have biopsy results in about 10 days.
I have now decided to commit to becoming actually free no matter what. I realized that I need to do this when @geoffrey said in the video meeting that one needs to be committed.

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As @geoffrey said self-immolation can only happen now and it is always now so I am always ready. Seeing the actual physical world helps me stay close to pure intent which helps me to stay ready.

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