James' Journal

I’m not sure how to put this into words. The closest I can come right now is that it is what it is. No need to change anything, do anything or be anything.

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Been thru a rough patch with health issues. Back to feeling good now. The body can bounce back by giving it what it needs. It feels good to feel good.


Black humour? Technological failure? Or… :worried:? Can someone make a call to James just in case?

I was contemplating my own death after what happened to Richard.

I knew that, but your message stopped mid-sentence, so I feared the worst! Glad to see you’re okay :smiley:

That would have been very unfortunate timing indeed! :joy:

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I had taken a sleeping pill and nodded off.

My thoughts exactly! He’d never have lived that down! :rofl:

I had taken a sleeping pill and nodded off.

Ah, I thought (and hoped!) that might be the case

I don’t think I would have been missed which probably is a good thing.

I assume you mean this literally (about it being a good thing). If so, I think I know where you’re coming from. At first it can be terrifying or depressing to think of vanishing as if we’d never existed. But it has a liberating aspect too, as Richard noted.

I get that when I think of some far distant future when everything we know and everything that knows us, the whole solar system itself, has been utterly destroyed, gone without a trace, as if none of this ever happened at all. Nothing really matters in the ultimate sense. It’s liberating.

Yes, I was thinking it is the ‘I’ that wants to be remembered. That’s why I am opting for cremation.

I’d rather be eaten by birds or wolves, but it’s not really practical where I live. Fish, maybe :thinking:

If I die home alone and nobody misses me I would most likely be eaten by roaches and rats. I don’t like that idea.

Yeah, it’s not the fairytale ending people dream about in their golden years. Usually a better chance of coming true though.

This is part of what I found profound about Richard’s death, what he lived and what he did was truly remarkable and yet he disappeared into oblivion all the same, and one day all of it will be forgotten too, ultimately it wouldn’t have mattered one bit.

This is something that made me appreciate him even more because he was an enlightened being, he could have stuck to the delusion of immortality and of some ‘special status’ in order to escape death. Yet he chose to dissolve all that in order to be ordinary, to be mortal, to be actual.

When I contemplate all this the words “actual innocence” come to mind every time, to be completely free of anything that is rotten, to willingly relinquish any and all power, and to demonstrate this all the way through to its eventual conclusion, that is like integrity but on steroids.