Ian: Hi Vineeto
Yes fantastic really and so opposite to the old ways…
There’s still a lot of seemingly important but actually silly inertia to being serious, so I can’t say that I am completely free of seriousness, but I’m certainly having more fun by incrementally allowing myself to have more fun and care more, and when I do, I get more confident (even though I already know, it’s that incremental experiential confirmation) that nothing is going wrong. Thought I am wobbly at times, and do get sucked temporarily into these plugholes of normalcy – but it’s all the more interesting to be more and more in tune with what’s happening in my psyche.
It’s great to increasingly see those who I used to see as the authority figures (bosses, parents, partner, other men) – that I would be scared of frankly – as fellow human beings – which means that I can see their being and their suffering is the same as mine, and that becoming happy and harmless myself is the only way to care (to lead to the result we all want).
Because we are all here doing it, living and breathing, we are all happening right now, and it’s like someone has to make the first move.
Hi Ian,
This is such a great description of how becoming free of seriousness and allowing naïveté naturally segues into caring – simply because of fellowship regard. Of course, there is a lot more to it than this summary suggests, and the insight and consequent actualising that it is ‘you’ who created the authority in others over you was essential to be able to eliminate the hierarchical perception/ classification of your fellow human beings –
Ian: “The key was seeing that I am the feeling of authority, of the rule of allowance/prohibition, it is internal and ‘me’ as much as the one who wished to be happy…” (link)
Ian: Which was Richard of course, but relatively it still feels like that… I can’t wait around for anyone else to make the move first, and I’ve already taken those steps anyway…
Everyone needs to do the first step because each one is the only person one can change. Even if others make the first move to change themselves you will still have to do the changing yourself, unilaterally. And sincerely contemplating this it is very liberating in itself.
Ian: The actual world is the actual world and I can’t puzzle it into existence, we live in it… veils or not.
What cool creatures we are… (link)
Mmh, you don’t need to “puzzle it into existence” – the actual world already exists and has always existed, it is infinite and eternal and thus incomparable and perfect. It’s already here. But actuality can only become apparent when ‘I’ go into abeyance, either temporarily or permanently because the very passionate existence of ‘me’ completely obscures the perception of the actual world of the senses.
In the meantime one can imitate the actual as much as possible based on one’s PCEs, and the way to do that is naively enjoying and appreciating this very moment being alive (and remove the obstacles to doing just that). More and more sensuousness comes to the fore the less affect power ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and passions have. Then you become aware that now is the only moment you can actually experience. It is indeed marvellous and amazing that we humans are capable of being aware, sentient, intelligent and on top of it have the capacity to be aware of being conscious (apperceptive).
Ian: and it’s win win win – I get to be happy, and everyone else gets to be not bothered by my interference/ demands/ pettiness – and the day to day ordinary conflict situations don’t get out of control/ don’t escalate/ don’t result in me feeling resentful and remorseful for ‘winning’ or morose and resentful for ‘losing’… and I don’t have to feel guilty that I am not ‘doing something’ to ‘fix’ the feelings of another person… and I don’t need the other person to feel guilty for not ‘doing something’ to ‘fix’ my mood… (link)
What a perfect set-up and you laid it all out – win, win, win for everyone.
Getting rid of the oppressive feeling of authority is indeed a great liberation. I remember when ‘Vineeto’ suddenly grasped experientially that there is no possibility that there can be a God existing in this infinite and eternal universe. There is no actual physical place where he/ she/ it could hide or reside and this apperceptive insight resulted in a PCE –
‘Vineeto’: One evening, when talking and musing about the universe, I fully comprehended that this physical universe is actually infinite. The universe being without boundaries or an edge means that it is impossible, practically, for God to exist. In order to have created the universe or to be in control of it God would have to exist outside of it – and there is no outside! This insight hit me like a thunderbolt. My fear of God and of his representatives collapsed and lost its very substance by this obvious realisation. In fact, there can be no one outside of this infinite universe who is pulling the strings of punishment and reward, heaven and hell – or, according to Eastern tradition, granting enlightenment or leaving me with the eternal karma of endless lives in misery.
This insight presupposes, of course, that there is no place other than the physical universe, no celestial, mystical realm where gods and ghosts exist.
It also implies that there is no life before or after death and that the body simply dies when it dies. I needed quite some courage to face and accept this simple fact – to give up all beliefs in an after-life or a ‘spirit-life’. But I could easily observe that as soon as I gave up the idea of any imaginary existence other than the tangible, physical universe, everything, which had seemed so complicated and impossible to understand became graspable, evident, obvious and imminently clear.
When the enormous consequence and implication of slipping out of this insidious belief in any God or Higher Being dawned on me, I was at the same time free of anybody’s authority. I was free of the fear that had been spoiling every relationship with every man in my life: father, brothers, male friends and boyfriends, employers, teachers and Master.
Now I am my own authority, deciding what is silly and sensible, using the common and practical intelligence of the human brain. I am responsible for every action in my life and I can acknowledge that now. However, this means that from now on I cannot blame anybody for making me jealous, miserable, grumpy, afraid, angry or frustrated over any petty issue. Now there is no more excuse, no more hiding place. They are my reactions and my behaviour, which I have to face and change in order to be free. (A Bit of Vineeto)
And, of course, there is pure intent, which is so much more reliable that ‘my’ own authority could ever be.
Ian: What I mean is I don’t have to be petty anymore… I have allowed myself to feel happy, so no resentment that others or situations aren’t ‘making’ me happy, no feeling of authority telling myself I shouldn’t do it myself…
It brought tears to my eyes and gut squeezing-out-all-the-stress/ tension-laugh relief…
Wringing out the cloth (link)
This is truly wonderful.
Cheers Vineeto