and it’s win win win - I get to be happy, and everyone else gets to be not bothered by my interference/demands/pettiness - and the day to day ordinary conflict situations don’t get out of control/don’t escalate/don’t result in me feeling resentful and remorseful for ‘winning’ or morose and resentful for ‘losing’…and I don’t have to feel guilty that I am not ‘doing something’ to ‘fix’ the feelings of another person… and I don’t need the other person to feel guilty for not ‘doing something’ to ‘fix’ my mood…
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