Hunterad's journal

[Vineeto]

@hunterad

The theme of the last week for me has been pure intent, things have been going quite well. Spurred initially by Vineeto’s comment from about 1 month ago:

@Vineeto

To put it differently, the actualism method is to activate the intent outside of ‘you’, the identity, via the realisation, if not via experience, that ‘this is my only moment of being alive’, and then your cost-reward equation makes sense – nothing, but nothing, is worth wasting this precious moment of being alive. (link)

I was seeking the intent that comes from outside of me and was able to start locating it via rememorating childhood PCEs and rereading descriptions of others’ PCEs (especially some of Richard’s descriptions in tooltips on his personal page).
Another factor was simply recognizing the insincerity of my intentions especially my desire to turn actualism into something self-aggrandizing. Contemplating what it would mean and what it would be like to genuinely desire happy and harmlessness for their own sake helped me understand how this intent could really only come from outside of me since it is so opposite to my self-sustaining nature.

Hi Adam,

This is good news. Whenever you discover insincerity in yourself (self-aggrandisement often being a contributing factor) and then act on this insight by going in the other direction – being more honest and sincere with yourself – you take another step away from the “self-sustaining nature” of ‘me’ and open the doors to be more genuinely happy and harmless. It allows you to recognize that the actual world is already always here, it doesn’t have to be fabricated, it is already existing.

Adam-H: I’ve also been finding that rereading accounts of self-immolation helps to get me in touch with pure intent. I certainly am not in touch with it all the time but there have been periods of time where I was over the last couple of days especially, and so I am going to see if I can stay with it for longer and longer. I also got a lot out of rereading this article on Srinath’s site along with all the other articles of his.

Pure intent is not only to be in touch with wanting to be more happy and harmless, it can also enable a new source of wide-eyed wonder and amazement and unconditional joie de vivre, which may have been overlooked when too seriously trying to be a ‘good actualist’.

Cheers Vineeto