Hi guys long time no chat, this is adam aka hunterad93 from previous forums :].
I’ve been skimming this forum now and then over the last however many months, and today I spent hours doing a deep dive and catching up. Glad to see folks I’ve talked with in the past still active.
Was a bit sad to hear about Alan though I am cheered up at the thought that to paraphrase srinath ‘he was absorbed into infinitude’ in just the same way an actually free person would have been. The universe is more benign than to pick winners and losers in some ultimate sense!
I have still been consistently thinking about actualism and inconsistently practicing it, and realizing how much more consistent the “thinking about it” side has been is what has jolted me back into joining the forum and opening this conversation. Maybe I will get some insight from the outside, maybe I will formulate my thoughts better when I know someone is reading them, maybe I’ll hold myself to a higher standard knowing people are watching. I’ll take whatever advantages I can find, I am willing to cheat to win at this point!
I want to explore why my practice hasn’t been very consistent… even when my thinking about actualism has been. What is that turning toward experiencing felicity really like and why am I so content with only doing it now and then? Certainly I’ve felt moments of felicity and certainly I’ve intentionally turned myself towards felicity and innocuity for short periods of time. But there seems to be something qualitatively different in really adopting it as an approach to life on the most pragmatic and immediate way that I’ve never truly experienced.
There’s a lot more to say and I intend to go more into what I’ve been experiencing lately but going to sleep now. Even though I haven’t said much here i’ve been writing and rewriting for a couple hours, wow! Goodnight and glad to be back.