Felix: I’m reminded how Richard once told me his main goal using the actualism method originally was “to not get triggered”. That makes a LOT of sense now – it is just so much easier to be feeling good first and then avoid triggers. (link)
Vineeto: It sounds like the most sensible line of approach to start with – and when there are too many different triggers, get back to feeling good first and then do one, then perhaps another at your leisure. There are not as many different triggers as you might believe at first.
Felix: Thanks Vineeto your support and encouragement on here has been invaluable. I think what you are doing is really helpful especially when most of us are doing this online and with no one in our lives that knows about it.
Hi @Felix,
You are very welcome Felix. It is such a delight when I see your putting the feedback in action, that what I write facilitates one or more of you to feel good, or feel better, or puzzle out some apparent obstacle satisfactorily.
Here is an example of how someone phrased it well when they puzzled out how best to apply the actualism method as intended –
”This is when I first saw this aspect of the actualism method: that, at the end of the day, whatever diminishes enjoyment is just an affective habit to be declined and that it is as simple as that. Yes, investigation and exploration are necessary in the beginning to tease out just what that habit is; but once understood, I can just decline so as to have fun sooner than later. In the TMOBA article, Richard alludes to this as “no matter what it is” and “usually some habitual reactive response”. It was amusing to see myself converge on the simplicity of the method as Richard laid out (which, to be frank, has always seemed simplistic!).”
And Kuba confirmed this very recently –
Kuba: The ‘difficulty’ in actualism is due to the fact that all that ‘I’ have learnt in ‘my’ life was an encumbrance. The ease in actualism is unlocked when one stops being sophisticated haha. (link)
So, be sincere and from there allow yourself to be naïve (i.e. unsophisticated, which at the start may look a bit like being a fool to you) and feeling good/great will almost come naturally.
Cheers Vineeto