Hey Vineeto,
Glad to report that what is happening now is not a repetition of the same cycles I have experienced for the last 4 or 5 years.
There are two things happenings:
- I seem to have brought my ongoing “chronic stress condition”, with its concomitant escape/addiction issues (mainly sexual) and warped perceptions to an end, at last.
In a nutshell…and without wanting to make it sound too easy….you could say I FINALLY learned to decline to go down my usual self-sabotaging routes.
Since then, feeling good has been arising very easily - which is all quite simple and delightful.
I’m just inviting it more and more, which is as much about staying out of the way and not getting triggered than anything else.
I’m reminded how Richard once told me his main goal using the actualism method originally was “to not get triggered”. That makes a LOT of sense now - it is just so much easier to be feeling good first and then avoid triggers.
Whereas before, I was in fact a traumatised psyche - effectively “permatriggered” - and so there was (seemingly) no place of safe feeling good to aim for or go back to.
- My overall “window” into the world, seen through my eyes but experienced in a 3D physical sense, is totally changing.
My nervous system has relaxed, I feel much more comfortable in my body and everything around me is much more pleasurable. I am experiencing that holiday feeling. It’s amazing to experience myself so differently and so all of a sudden. The deep fears that were lashing and lacerating me with stress minute in minute out are gone and I’m starting to feel rejuvenated and healthy.
Now that I’m getting used to feel good it’s making it a lot easier to “rewire” myself. Letting go of beliefs is much much easier, as affectively I am no longer tied to them, indulging them or enslaved to them.
Now, in a relaxed way I’m making sure I don’t go back to my old ways.
I wouldn’t want to anyway.