Claudiu's Journal

[claudiu]

Hi Vineeto,

I appreciate your reply & pointers

@Vineeto

Didn’t Kuba name his objection “too good to be true” (link) – and now you have found a very similar credible (?) objection: “not for me”? It is indeed rather silly yet I do wonder if there is not something yet unexposed underneath which cannot be displaced by merely thinking about it and determining it to be silly.

Well this particular one was more that I had the insight into seeing that this was an objection, at which point it was an objection no longer – so it isn’t so much I thought about it and labeled it silly, but rather was surprised to uncover it had been operating, if it makes sense. I consider this one a ‘win’…

@Vineeto

You say “someone has to go next after all” which to me looks a rather lack-lustre way of a lamb being led to the slaughter, resigned to its fate … but do tell me if I am on the wrong track.

At the time I experienced it more like a naive exuberance, like, of course I will go next! And yet 4 hours later then I posted about the next hesitation, which indicates the naivete had diminished already

So you are right that there is indeed “something yet unexposed underneath”. That latter post of “that which I am bucking” being “ultimately dissatisfying”, indeed was more of a thought-out ratiocination rather than a naively insightful ending-of-the-objection

@Vineeto

I have no intention to talk you into one deep uncomfortable feeling or another – these are only pointers what to do if you discover a feeling as the source of your hesitation, prevarication, teetering on the edge, preventing you from doing what you promised yourself to do for so long. Because whenever such a feeling is operating in the shadows, naiveté and pure intent are obscured, and your thinking may be rational but lacks the clear seeing of apperceptive awareness to help you out of your conundrum.

You are onto something here that it is a feeling currently underlying it. I take the advise well to sit with it and see what I find out!

@Vineeto

You remember how Geoffrey solved ‘his’ problem –

Geoffrey: There was the actual world just right there in front of me, obviously existing, pure and perfect, and then there was ‘me’, ‘humanity’. The contrast was simply hilarious. I can’t describe how hilarious this contrast was. What we’ve all been doing forever and ever, on a ridiculous parade of malice and sorrow, with the greatest seriousness. (Geoffrey - Report of Becoming Free)

Do you mean he solved it by naively finding it just very hilarious? A sense of humor and sincere carefreeness rather than a ‘serious’ approach?

I can rationally understand the contrast and I even know it experientially (the PCE-while-driving vs. the real-world), but the solution that occurred for Geoffrey upon seeing what he did has not occurred for me yet

Cheers,
Claudiu