Andrew

[Andrew]

@claudiu

For the most part, the only reason to ‘hide’ an aspect of yourself is from fear of how the other person will react. Men always remark about how women are ‘perceptive’ and can sniff these things out… I think it simply comes down to being invested and interested in intimacy, which women are more stereotypically prone to do, while men are more stereotypically withdrawn. Be that as it may, when being intimate with someone, part of that is getting to know them intricately, and it becomes easy to spot inconsistencies.

Being evasive (as opposed to forthright) is certainly going to mar and put a stopper on intimacy fully flourishing.

Likewise it is a highly desirable trait when somebody - and this is not exclusive to actualists - knows what they want, do not feel bad about wanting what they want, and do not impose any will or requirements on others to fulfill what they want. This is a self-sustaining person, standing on their own, without sticky dependent binds reaching out and ensnaring people around them. This is a person that it is much easier to be yourself around, and therefore much easier to have fun with.

Some people won’t want this in a partner - they want someone they can control, or they want somebody that ‘needs’ them so they feel needed, etc… this is a person that will not want a relationship with an actualist. And it would be silly for an actualist to pursue a relationship with such a person. But there will be those people that do want this, very much, in a partner… and those people, whether they are actualists or not, will likely enjoy and appreciate being in a relationship with an actualist.

Why try to have insights when I could have just read carefully?