Andrew: Thank Vineeto,
I thought twice about using the word “ruthless”, and decided it was appropriate because it did not feel personal. (…)
Gentleness, and knowledge that I will fail, and will try again, seems the way forward.
Hi Andrew,
What is wrong with “be interested, attentive, fascinated (as you would be with an interesting person you meet)”? – you would be far more involved and thus successful than merely being “gentle”, which has the connotation of being cautious.
Richard: The potent combination of attention, fascination, reflection and contemplation produces apperception, which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself. Apperception is an awareness of consciousness. It is not ‘I’ being aware of ‘me’ being conscious; it is the mind’s awareness of itself. Apperception – a way of seeing that can be arrived at by reflective and fascinating contemplative thought – is when ‘I’ cease thinking and thinking takes place of its own accord … and ‘me’ disappears along with all the feelings. Such a mind, being free of the thinker and the feeler – ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul – is capable of immense clarity and purity … as a sensate body only, one is automatically benevolent and benign. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive)
Andrew: Because of the way this habit squashes feelings, and the way it easily seems to be intelligent to think in certain ways, it’s quite tricky.
I had a reasonable day. This contemplating was continually there.
What is intellectualisation? Am I doing it now?
How does that thing I am looking at seem? Do I seem closer to it? Or am I further away? Is there the feeling of excitement still there? Did I forget already?
The best way to find out if you are intellectualising is to check if you are feeling good or if something has diminished your enjoyment and appreciation.
Andrew: Am I lost now, or am I exploring something new?
The trap of ‘intellectualisation’ is just how thorough it is. How completely it takes over.
The best way to find out if you are intellectualising is to check if you are feeling good or if something has diminished your enjoyment and appreciation.
Andrew: I am encouraged that it’s going to take more than a casual effort to make headway, because something about it is “all encompassing”. The very word “intellectualisation” is one of the English words that sounds like what it describes! Like “Splash”, or “Discombobulated”.
Ha, that’s a good word – etymology: ““Discombobulate” is considered a pseudo-Latinism, meaning it’s a word that sounds like it’s from Latin but is actually a made-up word.” It has indeed a meaningful connection to intellectualisation in that it sounds sophisticated but has no merit in fact.
Andrew: I like that in all these years there is a single word I can go back to and say, “this has been so much of ‘my’ existence, most of my waking moments! I wonder what life will be like on the other side of it?”
You didn’t perchance leave out the ‘n’ in “my waking moments”? 
Andrew: I appreciate what you said after Richard died, that there was an opening to push through. You didn’t use those words, something to the effect of making the most of an opportunity.
There really is something happening.
I won’t speculate though. (link)
It is never too late to join the party, it’s in full swing, naiveté reigns supreme.
Here is what I wrote at the time –
Vineeto: This is an eventuous moment – and I deeply appreciate all your responses.
Take the shock and the reminder of mortality and move this affective energy towards even more determination to become actually free now so that Richard’s discovery and evolutionary breakthrough in human consciousness can spread around the globe with each and every one of you being the catalyst for that.
Allow any affective energy of shock or sadness to transform and express itself as a deep and abiding appreciation – for Richard’s discovery and words, for the fact that an actual freedom is available now – and further a deep and abiding appreciation for the purity and perfection that exists everywhere around you, both in the natural world (the Four Affect-Free States of Matter) and in human beings including your own flesh-and-blood body (as a potential, apparent in your and other people’s kindness, brought to the fore by your own deep and ongoing appreciation of each person you come in contact with).
Now is the time, don’t waste the opportunity, there is immense potential in this moment, the energy of appreciation freely available in the pure web of human consciousness (called ‘action potential’) to be tapped into if you only allow it. It may be overwhelming at first but it can melt down any barriers you might still have and … set you free.
It is very strange and quite overwhelming at times – I realized that I am now Richard as well as me because we were so intimate as only two fully actually free people can be, hence I am writing words I would have never written before.
Regards and appreciation. (link, 7 July 2024)
Cheers Vineeto