Andrew: Thanks Vineeto,
Indeed, I was wondering about those moments that I clearly was flat or anxiety about the discussion was there, what was the attraction to continue? Why persist past while it’s clear I did let myself “forget” the recent success? I can see I need to be far more “ruthless” in catching this habit.
Well, in a recent post you talked about being a friend to oneself – being “ruthless” doesn’t sound very friendly. Why not be interested, attentive, fascinated (as you would be with an interesting person you meet) and discover and explore what within the human condition (for which you are not to blame) is preventing you from freely enjoying and appreciating this very moment of being alive, the only moment you can actually experience.
Andrew: I had really only been considering intellectualisation in relation to how I deal with feelings. With the endless complications and theory, and rumination, etc … but the flip side is when the habit is “somewhat” enjoyable, but in a very rollercoaster way. Where I am pursuing a point, or trying to convince someone, or teach, or save, or appear smart, or let some mission take over, which has a feeling of obligation to it.
Yes, one gets into a groove with some habits, particularly when the new and unknown way of living appears to be somewhat daunting. Richard described his own experience –
Richard: ‘I’ asked myself, each moment again: ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’?
It was a bit of a chore to start with, but as success after success started to multiply exponentially, it became automatic to have this question running as an on-going thing … because it delivered the goods right here and now … not off into some indeterminate future. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List B, No. 19, 17 Mar 1998).
Andrew: I will keep looking into these feelings that arose over the last 2 days that did turn the “flower being more there” into normal me, intellectualising and basically ignoring the obvious, I was not feeling good anymore, and I was justifying it habitually.
You’ll be amazed how much you discover and learn about yourself, and thus about the human condition in general, when you stop ignoring (and pat yourself on the back for catching it) and allow the prevalent feeling to inform you what is going on underneath the surface. But get back to feeling good first before you attempt any deeper exploration else an emotionally charged thinking-process will lead you round in circles.
Andrew: That’s very cool though, that the habit can be worked on all the time! The feelings can be experienced because I am not tempted to intellectualise them, and further not lose contact with the feelings because I am habitually intellectualising about everything else too! (link)
Excellent. Have fun in your adventure of uncovering the mystery of ‘you’.
Cheers Vineeto