Hi, @emp.
My wife (P.) is currently corresponding with a female Russian friend we met for the first time in Argentina a long time ago, who is devastated by what is going on.
I suddenly thought that maybe it would be useful for you -and/or for someone else, why not- to hear excerpts of her words “from the other side”, and my wife’s, also from another background than that of actualists (as I stated elsewhere, she practices Logosofía (Logosophy), a spiritual discipline). So, the idea is not to analyze/discuss later from the actualist perspective the correctness or incorrectness of my friend’s or my wife’s concepts; it is simply to share them).
I had to shorten, rephrase and translate these fragments without much care so as not to invest a lot more time (our friend writes and speaks good Spanish).
Our friend (working in another country, a few days before returning to Russia):
“I am having a terrible time. I remember the last existential crisis when I was 18 years old and I lacked motivation to study for exams. I couldn’t find meaning in that activity without finding meaning in being alive first. Now something similar is happening with work. I have some editorial stuff to finish on the article I have to send before the end of the month. I’ll get to it. But what does that matter, when my government sent people to kill other people for no reason?
I feel so much shame, so much incomprehension and weakness. As I felt when I was writing to you about our elections, only multiplied by a million. I understand that the only thing I can do is “Keep calm and carry on”. I will try. But it is very difficult. And you know, I think if anything good can come of it, it’s to collectively see what a horror it is and how to prevent it. Although previous history lessons proved to be insufficient…”
P.:
“I think that the cause of many sorrows and joys is the identification that we generate with the world around us. The problem lies in the chimerical world that human imagination generates, which separates us from the natural reality. You are much more than a Russian, as I am more than an Argentinean… just as these are not our governments.
Be careful, identification is not stupid; it gives satisfaction to the ego, for example by making us proud to be Russian or Argentinean. Notice how much identification influences us, that we use the verb “to be” in expressions such as “I am a doctor” (instead of “I work as a doctor” or “I graduated in medicine”); “I am Argentine” (instead of “I was born in Argentina” or “I was born Argentinian”). We can identify more and more with “higher” aspects of these identifications, but limited by the very existence of the ego. That is why I believe that the best thing we can do is to observe ourselves and to see how identification operates; and only by discovering that internal fiction as something alien to us, we can access the natural reality.
I hope you can observe yourself, write as a relief and focus with joy on your work, which is part of your contribution to a better humanity”.
Our friend:
“I think what you say is part of what stresses me out, and I’m going to work with that. But another part has to do with deciding if it’s my fight. I don’t have any strength for it, but I feel all the responsibility. I also fear the consequences, which get worse every day. I have to do something, not only because I was born here, but because it is human. And because what our government do is pure evil”.
P.:
"I am going with two different topics:
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I do not know if you and I have to decide whether it is our fight or not, but in which battlefield we are going to fight it… Our responsibility and involvement is undoubtedly different because of those identifications I had mentioned. It is not because of the “real reality”, since human beings are also killing each other -also without justified reasons- in other countries. This war matters more to us because it is seen through the lens of those identifications. But what is your primary responsibility? Which are secondary?
Yesterday, there was a march at the Ukrainian embassy in Buenos Aires in order to repudiate Russia, which I did not attend. With the information I had and in touch with my “wisdom”, I made a decision for which I am responsible (at least according to my level of consciousness).
By chance, at the same time I was reading the story “The Overcoat/The cloak” by Nicolas Gogol.
I suggest you to check what you call “responsible” because, why these deaths are more important from the point of view of responsibility than the ones in other wars/countries? You are not responsible for giving a military order, but neither are you responsible for Gogol’s genius. However, you feel shame for one, and pride for the other. Interesting, isn’t it?
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In relation to others being/doing pure evil…
If you start from that premise, the only thing left for them is extermination. This closes the doors of conciliation, of understanding the reasons they have, of approaching them. To understand the other is not to support, it is not to agree, but to understand how those human beings come to believe that the only path they have is that of violence. What values do they believe they are defending? Which of those values and beliefs relate with me?
We are repulsed by the idea of having something in common with someone who supports war, but if we look at the issue in terms of degrees, we have more in common than we would like; it’s just that many of us have not yet reached that extreme.
If you ask me, I see more evil in the media, in digital games, in social networks… Because the global damage generated by these alienations consists in distancing us from ourselves, the only means through which we could stop harming and damaging us and others. If we look at the damage we do, there are always unconscious human beings behind; not just “greedy” or “arrogant”. And that unconsciousness generates mirages that arouse in us the desire to fight the evil outside of us in order not to see it within.
So, I invite you to reflect on where that evil is and if you can do more to eliminate it".
Our friend (in Moscow):
“You are right and you made me reconsider the subject during those days. It also helped the feedback I received today during my flight from more or less neutral observers. They see the conflict from a perspective surprisingly different than how I see it. I form sentences about the war using the pronoun “we”. Noticing this made me take more distance, feel less guilty and less willing to act influenced by my emotions. I also find it interesting to think about how people arrive at such cruel and fatal decisions. I look at the arguments they present and the interests that might drive them.
When I get some rest from the travel and adapt to life in Moscow again, I will work harder to look for that evil inside me… But I’m also going to think about how I can reasonably act to alleviate the damage this war is doing, since compared to war in other countries I feel more capable of doing so. It may just be wishful thinking; may be people’s opinion can’t change in my country. I wouldn’t be surprised, but I feel I need to at least think in that direction… I think “responsibility” is not the right word, although I think I felt it that way when I wrote to you last time. Now I perceive it more as the possible ability to collaborate with some change. It seems to me that it is worth making the attempt, with as little risk as possible to my own life and well-being.
At night I get very scared. Sometimes I feel that I need to focus on my inner world, and sometimes that if I ignore what is happening, soon nothing is going to happen to me. There is so much uncertainty and so much fear in everyone; for our lives and for the lives of others. Fear doesn’t help at all, but it is very hard to fight it without trying to ignore the outside world at the same time”.
P.:
“We have more internal resources to face adversity than we think. Not only we can live with the hope that better days will come: we also have a great power of adaptation. This power reduces suffering because it allows us to accommodate to the environment and to detect the suffering that does not come from outside, but from guilt or from believing that we can do something to change the inner reality of others, but we are mostly unable to.
Welcome fear as an alert that sees the storm at sea in the distance; but accepting it (likewise anxiety and uncertainty) as a circumstantial companion of the journey does not imply giving it the wheel of the ship. You have ahead of you, every minute, a dark path or -I’m not going to say “luminous”- a less dark one. You can choose; you are still free to get out of that darkness”.
. Sweden is far closer to Russia than Portugal… at least you have Finland as a buffer… but seems to make sense to set up these plans, hopefully not needed but if so you will want to have them…
Leaving a power vacuum has never ended well, at least AFAIK.