War

Actualism
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Ok, title is a bit dramatic (at least for the time being), but I realized I should maybe start talking about last week and how weird it has been. Diary form will have to do for now.

I don’t know if anyone else feels it, but at least for me the past month or two have been one hell of a ride, vibe-wise. I read Claudiu’s account of the vibes felt when covid restrictions started coming in and I recognized everything. It took a couple of weeks to extract myself from the covid vibe morass and this past week has been no different, though the vibes feel even more substantial and inescapable.

What has bothered me this time is how badly I got pulled in. I spent about four or five days feeling various levels of hatred, anxiety and helplessness before I could finally peel myself out of it (strangely enough only while sleeping). Coming out I realized I’d been had by the propaganda boat to boot, and I have to admit that it sickens me to my very core. I can’t describe with words how deeply I felt the realization that men and women are being sent to their deaths for tropes right now. They have no clue, no idea, and people are cheering them on and it’s perverse. I was even in that fervor myself for a while, thinking I’d give my life for family/freedom/nation and somehow magically it’d be anything but me dying like a dog for an abstract idea.

But I’m posting here because I don’t know what to do at the moment. Enjoy and appreciate, sure, but reality is currently taking on this weird engulfing quality to me. I’m not sure if this is even rational or if I’m feeling a whole continent-full of anxiety right now, with no respite… or if I’m just making it up.

Replies welcome. I’m guessing the actual world is as pristine as ever but muh brainz refuse to tune into the correct frequency at the moment.

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To have a better grasp at your situation, do you live in Ukraine?

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No. So no worries about anything immediate. I’ll see if I can find a better word so I don’t make it confusing.

Final edit: I removed the whole sentence. It just sounded alarmist and confused the message. Things have just changed very rapidly over the past week.

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I wouldn’t be too quick to blame it on vibes. Personally I appreciate life more during Covid and WW3 because sudden death becomes more of a reality and soon I might not have the opportunity to enjoy life any longer.

It might be useful to contemplate that even if you enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive or not you will still be dead when the nuclear war starts. Just as dead as Richard and Vineeto and everyone else. Even if there is a sudden global peace we all end up sick and dead. Enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive cannot save you; that’s not the point.

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I’m aware of that and that’s not what I meant. But I realized reading it the way you posed it that I have been approaching it wrong. I thought it could save me and maybe save us all, now that I dig a bit deeper.

I’m missing something here. What are your reflections?

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Yes it’s speculation on my part, and I’m also trying to poke you into finding out where specifically it’s clogging up for you.

It reads as if you are in opposition with yourself/your feelings and/or what caused those feelings. This often happens to me when I get into a mode of “bad things happen and they make me feel bad therefore I hate the bad things that happen because they make me feel bad” which is why I went with the “the actualism method cannot fix bad things”, as this to me is a crucial first step in breaking away and seeing that the actual world is still available, I’m just looking in the wrong place, I’m distracted, disoriented.

And this is how I get out of that gridlock, by tuning back into the actual world, which indeed is as pristine as ever. So the question is: what is preventing you from tuning into that frequency at the moment?

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I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one that experienced those vibes/psychic currents during COVID times and recognized it as such!

I thought I’d share what happened with me when I heard that Russia had finally invaded Ukraine and air striked all over the country.

I felt like I really wanted to do something to stop such things from happening. And at first it seemed like there was nothing I could do, nothing at all, to prevent war, to do anything about it. But then it clicked that becoming actually free is precisely the very best thing I can do to cure war, once and for all.

So all the energy I would otherwise spend on feeling outraged, in those moments, were directed to sincerely and intensely wanting to do something about the human condition… a firm seeing that I do have to actually do this thing, it’s not just for me or for my well-being.

Maybe this can help …

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As the war started, I found myself glued to screens reading news updates, tweets, images coming in from the conflict. Similarly, I found myself swept into the propaganda, and even today can see I feel more negatively toward the ‘russians’ than toward the ‘ukrainians.’

Actually I noticed something funny the other day, which is that one of Putin’s justifications for the invasion was the supposed Ukrainian shelling of the Donbas region. I looked into that and found an article in the Western press which referenced a Russian claim that Ukrainians had been shelling the Donbas and that they had hit a kindergarten. The U.S. government dismissed this as a false-flag operation.

This sparked amusement in me because I had just read the day before another outraged article in which it was claimed that the russians had hit a kindergarten in Kyiv.

Regardless of the facticity of actual events, or who fired what shell, it was clear that both sides were using similar narrative devices to try and sway opinion.

From my distant perch in Alaska it’s immediately apparent that I have no idea what’s happening, all I have are these distant articles which are all packed with vibes and attempting to make me on ‘this side’ or ‘that side.’ How could I get so upset about something that I know nothing about the actual events of?

Of course, I could get upset about the general war, but I didn’t get similarly as upset when conflict lit up Syria or Libya. It’s just the ‘felt proximity’ of the European country, as well as all the news outlets telling me I should be upset.

Or I could be upset about the general warlike nature of humans (same as it’s ever been), but that would be to resign myself to a lifetime of being upset.

My breakthrough came with realizing that I was just at home, and that the sun was out, it was a nice day actually, birds were singing, and that there is always someone somewhere shooting someone else; that’s just what people do. Conflict. So, I had the choice to either go on being upset about this specific conflict, or to just go back to becoming free.

So, I did.

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I also find it somewhat amusing (if not sad because of the context) that both sides call the other side Nazis, compare to Hitler etc. Godwin’s law has evolved past just the internet and made it well into 2022.

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https://youtu.be/tGjuPJskNRE

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@emp Of course what you are feeling is perfectly understandable. With human suffering and aggression at that scale, the vibes are going to be powerful. Something that takes you over like a large wave, rather than a minor ripple of emotion that can be easily be seen as silly relatively quickly. In these circumstances as a feeling being I found it helpful to see this not unlike a riptide that carries you out to sea. You can’t ‘defeat it’ or swim against it. You have to work with its rhythm. So trying to acknowledge and be more precise of what you are feeling is the way to go, rather than trying to get rid of it. Feel good whenever the opportunity arises. Also if investigating the negative emotion gets overwhelming you get back to feeling good best as you can through whatever means - could be as simple as distracting yourself, having a coffee, meeting with a friend - doesn’t necessarily have to be something super actualist. Then you go again

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Thank you all who have been commenting.

I went through some of the suggestions and it ended up being “hanging with people” that cracked the egg, so to speak. I managed to calm down and just appreciate.

But now I’m faced with another problem. Once the propaganda wore off and I started thinking more clearly the big picture became obvious and it actually put me in a rather… worse… spot. Ukraine is known as the bread basket of Europe for lots of reasons and I think this war is based around that. UA has massive untapped metal and gas resources, a strategic location… you name it. The military operation in southeastern UA perfectly reflects this. Capturing these resources would give Russia more or less a monopoly on everything, something they’ve shown to be willing to exploit time and time again. Telling the EU denizens that “this is going to be hard” is probably the kindest way of putting it that I’ve heard.

The recent sanctions will probably only serve to galvanize further the massive shift in power between the west on one hand and Russia/China on the other. I don’t think Russia is willing to play nice with the EU anymore. We’ve already “lost”, but nobody’s telling us.

That all wars lately (or always) have been about natural resources should be clear by now. I’m not entirely certain but I do feel like the EU fucked up massively in protecting the interests of their own citizens. What consequences this will have I don’t know. Apart from the massive suffering of the common people over greed, I’m afraid that nobody will see what’s happening until it’s too late and I’m not sure how that will affect us. I’ve had a weird feeling the past couple of years, which I’ve been able to stash away as some latent paranoia, but recently it’s been very hard to ignore it. I still don’t quite know how to act though. I also can’t talk to anyone around me about this, as they’re still in the throes of a lot of the propaganda.

Also thank you to everyone who’s shared their experiences. I personally think that discussing everyday issues with an AFT slant might be helpful at least to some. We’ll see. :relaxed:

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And I decided to be a bit authoritarian with my own topic and moved it to the general category.

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Worse than that?? :smiley: . What I mean is, worse in what way? The first post sounded like you were wholly engulfed in hate, anxiety, and helplessness, while now you seem much calmer and able to think more clearly.

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I didn’t expect it to turn into this. War, i mean.

However, it is obvious in hindsight.

If two people, or three, a group or crowd, find it challenging, the nations even more so.

I spent most of last weekend, and every night this week, trying to find decent information on what is going on.

It is interesting to notice many differences in my reactions, compared to Iraq and Afghanistan, when my country was the aggressor.

I was, at a feeling level, on the Russian side. I had to step back emotionally, as that had no thought out reason for it. It was loyalty. Having been in two relationships with Russians. And also having had a lifetime fascination with everything Russian. (My great great grandfather worked in Russia as an engineer, and my 2 x great uncle, born there). I generally also go for “underdogs”.

It’s very powerful. Loyalty.

I can’t help but hope there is a strategy that makes sense. However, it’s more likely that the reasons for this conflict are far more petty and personal, rather than truly strategic.

My ex, who lives close to Georgia, works for an American software company. Her home town was full of American companies.

I also know a local company here whose entire programming staff are Russian based.

It’s all so very bizarre. The levels of complexity that make up the modern world.

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That was before the whole nuclear plant attack malarkey that we’re currently seeing. :joy: Oh god, yet another fear coming home to roost as I was alive back when Chernobyl happened. It seems to have rattled quite a few others as well. I’m not sure if this will be taken as a pretext for anything, but Russia blocking FB and instating martial law… things are going to get really hairy, if they haven’t already and I’m too blind to see.

I will add though that I’m not entirely stoked on how Zelenskyy is currently fanning the flames.

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I think what can help is to understand we have no control over the situation… what will happen, will happen, and there is not anything we can individually or even collectively do about it.

With that being said, keep firmly grounded in facts, and take whatever reasonable steps there are to protect yourself… like for example, are you geographically close to Ukraine? Like in terms of physical proximity. I’m in Portugal so not much physical danger for me, but I won’t be flying to Russia or Romania anytime soon…

Also it sounds like you already know how to get yourself out of it – “hanging with people” :smiley: , do more of that!

Regarding facts, I’d also keep in mind that although the Russian media is certainly not without bias, the Western media is not without bias either. They won’t be reporting a necessarily factually accurate picture of the events…

For example regarding the power plant…

Obviously it is ‘better’ for the West if Russians fired unprovoked at the nuclear plant… and it’s ‘better’ for Russia if it’s the Ukranians that instigated it. What is the fact of the matter? It’s difficult, if not impossible, for us to know. It seems that there was a fire at a training facility near the plant that didn’t affect the main plant – I only say this cause there’s a video of the fire, and all the reporting on the story (West or Russian) seems to agree on these facts. So it’s likely this happened. But as to who instigated what…

Obviously Russia is the one that actually invaded, but as to whether they are seeking to outright cause nuclear meltdown as Zelenskyy claims, this seems less likely. Of course whether Russians fire at the plant unprovoked and cause a meltdown, or “Ukranian nationalists” do, or “Ukranian nationalists” start an incident that provokes the Russians to fire at the plant, won’t matter if the plant has a meltdown. But it doesn’t seem in the interest of either side to have such a thing happen.

As for Russia instating martial law, similar story… the Western media reports that Russia is planning to.
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The Kremlin denies it.

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Kremlin doesn’t have much credibility as they denied they were gonna invade, but… hard to know what the situation is.

Also one thing I noticed is that one day all of a sudden all the Western media outlets were reporting that Putin may have gone insane, gone crazy, lost his rocker, etc… the day before, not one outlet was saying it, and the day after, it was all over the news. And I notice that now no one is reporting this anymore. A rumor spreading through the psychic web, perhaps? :smiley: .

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Oh regarding this also take a read here might alleviate some concerns

The conventional wisdom is that the West cannot sanction Russian energy because it would trigger an energy crisis along the lines of the 1970s episode, which would cause deep discontent at home. But the situation is not analogous to the 1970s predicament at all. Today the United States is the largest producer of oil and gas in the world. It can ramp up production and exports and help open the spigots in other countries. President Biden is worried that he is going to look like former president Jimmy Carter, when his power position is actually more like that of the king of Saudi Arabia.

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@emp

We spoke about the situation with Russia in late 2017. I remember learning many aspects of the part of the world you live in, and some aspects of how you felt about it.

It seems to me that i have zero ability to experience the situation in Europe. Nothing even vaguely similar to the European experience happens on this side of the globe.

However, how much of the current fear/vibes etc is new for you, and how much was always there?

It would seem to me such a situation is very difficult to investigate, or even move psychically out of, if it is a ‘reality’ shared by your country / and Europe generally.

I am not trying to contradict @claudiu here by saying perhaps some level of activity, or action may help alleviate the tension?

Perhaps a case of “getting out and enjoying some known fun thing”? Or even just indulgence in discussion, maybe try an “change things” via online, or personal exchanges.

Sometimes, i think that there is naturally occurring belief that arises in actualism, that we should just be able to “get it”.

Embarrassingly to admit, but I’ve been active on YouTube spouting my opinion. It actually reveals my biases and how silly it can be to stay silent. No one is likely to listen, so why not say what you think?

Besides, a few thoughtful comments here and there are surely not going to make anything worse. :earth_africa::+1:

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So many good replies that I can’t keep up right now. I’ll try to write down my thoughts a bit.

@Andrew lots of good suggestions. And true about saying what you’re feeling in order to see how much of it is actually not fact but something that can be discussed. I catch myself writing something here and then sort of cringing about it, or as was the case with my post where I was a lot more sober, realising that even when I think I’m entirely clear-headed I still have some low level feelings interfering with what I’m thinking. (I need to let the point of how much of the vibes were already there sink in for a bit - are you maybe suggesting that I’m doing the good ole Emp thing of “I knew it was all going to hell so I might as well suffer even more!” now? :smiley:)

This whole situation is so saddening to me, and I think that may be what’s pulling me down the most, the whole human sadness. I was walking by a playground today where a couple of Russian kids were playing and talking in Russian. Both my mom (ethnically Russian but from Finland) and I reflexively turned our heads and looked at them and they fell quiet. I eventually waved to them and spoke to them in Russian and maybe that made a difference, I don’t know, they waved back. My favourite Russian restaurant is currently receiving daily threats and she’s scared that someone will burn the place down. In an angry fit I disowned my own background on the day of the invasion. The Russian people are suffering en masse from the sanctions as well, apart from the Ukrainian people. We’re all being told that we need to brace for a drawn out conflict. Sweden joining NATO would just escalate things further, but we more or less have to join if Finland joins. My favourite composers and authors are mainly Russian, my favourite foods are Russian or Eastern European (except for the Swedish cream buns we’re being pelted with this week - a welcome comfort :slight_smile:).

I’ve been massively conflicted when it comes to my opinions about what’s been happening the past couple of years. Some of my opinions I’ve had to hide as most of my friends probably wouldn’t have liked them. A lot of them agree with me in principle right now but f ex, speaking to my father this morning he was almost entirely relentless when it comes to some very, very bad hot takes on Russian citizens in Sweden lately (we have a retired politician who actually came out today and said that all Russians should be kicked out of Sweden). So far, temperate voices seem to prevail but the games being played are disgusting to me.

I had the same experience when it comes to the vaccines and covid. Running the risk of outing myself as a bit of a contrarian here (oh who the hell am I kidding!) but at first I didn’t want to be vaccinated at all and I was fairly active on the lockdown skeptic part of Reddit until they turned weirdly conspiratorial (posting Belarus’ covid statistics as some kind of golden truth). I eventually relented when it seemed that getting vaccinated actually more or less eliminated spread, and it actually felt good to fall in lockstep with the prevailing thinking, but with the weirdness I’ve seen in people getting the third shot lately (btw, something that might entirely be a statistical coincidence) I’ve decided to postpone the booster. I got omikron as expected but I’m not sure if that will make a difference to my eventual T-cells/nAbs/death from getting hit with a piano on my head. Stats seem to be in my favour at least, when looking at age, co-morbidities, BMI and gender.

@claudiu Excellent points about the news coverage. The part about Putin being insane was such a weird take but I hear what you’re saying. I’m just starting to see a pattern (doing what’s known as a “killgissning” - “dude’s gut feeling guess” in my language here) where a lot of people who haven’t been exposed to diverse opinions will think that someone’s gone insane when they’re only doing what their own belief system is telling them, or what might actually be an entirely “logical” thing to do based on human nature. Massive belief system clashes entail?

Finally, before I turn this into even more of a massive stream-of-thought essay: there are currently about one million Ukrainian refugees spreading throughout the EU. Media reports from Finland are saying that a lot (thousands?) of Russians are crossing over in fear of what’s going to happen in Russia. Even if I can’t technically feel their vibes (votes are still out on whether vibes exist, honestly :smiley:) the situation is painful all around. We talk among us now and most are friendly but there’s definitely a what we call sordin resting on the general mood (a sordin being the felt inside a piano that’s used as a muting mechanism when playing, or the muffler on a trumpet). Doing something fun right now is really hard as we’re in the middle of yet another crisis, but I try. I’d also like to know if this has been partially a massive power play on the US side in order to get a Europe that was falling more and more under Chinese and Russian influence back into the fray, so to speak. I don’t know any more.

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