@Srinath, @geoffrey Yes Srinath it was epic for me. What I got out of it was when geoffrey said that one needs to be committed to it to become actually free. That rang a bell because I had never heard that before. I did commit to feeling good and I do feel good almost all the time but I have never committed to becoming actually free.
I still haven’t committed to it and I don’t actually know why. The usual suspect is fear that is stopping me which stems from ‘me’ so ultimately it is ‘me’ that is stopping me.
I am going to begin by being committed to not being bothered by the outcome of my colonoscopy tuesday morning. I tested positive for colon cancer and am having a colonoscopy to see what the extent of it is.
Geoffrey also said that one needs to be committed no matter what so I am committing to not being bothered by it no matter what the outcome. Doing this will be a good start to becoming actually free.
Geoffrey also said that one needs to make the decision to become actually free with one’s whole being.
I took some notes which I can post when I type them up 
But we can also badger @geoffrey to record next time 
Now we know what the badger emoji reaction is for! 
To took some scattered notes and I will try to decipher than and write them on here.
I really really enjoyed the chat with you all and geoffrey, it was out of this world.
After the chat I felt about 50% less weight of ‘my being’ and it felt like naivete and
purity. I have been actively carrying that flavor with me all day and it is very very enjoyable.
One important point for me was, I will post it in FEELING GOOD ,… thread.
These are points I remember (not from notes, and from the relatively short time I stayed of the 6 hours!) AND that I found interesting enough to become part of a video, but I do not know whether or not they deserve to be treated, which ones should be prioritized, some of these points may only be enough for a comment, etc. That’s up to you to decide according to your desires/interests, their individual complexity or their complexity to thread them in solitude, etc.
It is important to clarify for the rest that anything I write here may be misinterpretations and misunderstandings and/or incomplete summaries/abbreviations from my part (plus I could largely use my own words). So they should not be read to mean that Geoffrey actually said them, or even that I necessarily think them that way if I were to think about them more carefully: they are mostly triggers that may be useful to @geoffrey (which, I repeat, I have not written down and am reconstructing them from memory)
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The need to be committed to becoming actually free; and to be committed with the whole being. A decision made with a part of the being vs. with the whole being.
Image/analogy: wanting to quit smoking with only one part of us (fighting with another part of us that wants to continue smoking) VS wanting to quit smoking with the whole being. -
He considered that his intention (his commitment) to achieve AF was great enough as he thought that if given the weapon that would allow him to terminate with his feeling being, he was ready to shoot immediately. Eventually he noticed that this indicated that he was not committed with his whole being.
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Despite how wonderful PCEs are, and how important it is to have them, regarding AF the most important thing is what we decide/do when they end. Most people either forget them, or appropriate them by fitting them into their life framework (philosophical, religious, etc.). Both must be avoided. PCEs shuld be remembered, but…
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It is common to misunderstand what is meant by recalling/remembering the PCEs when they end. Remembering them does not mean meditating/thinking about them factually (what we did, episodically); nor how we perceived things sensorially at that time. It is rather a “revival” in this moment, right now, of that state (a “revivencia” in Spanish; a “revivance” in French -three words that I make clear that Geoffrey did not use; they simply came to my mind when I was listening to him-). That “revival” would be the connection with pure intent, the ‘golden thread’ mentioned by Richard.
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He admired that Richard not only did the almost impossible task of coming out of enlightenment to achieve AF, but that he later generated a method for others that he did not experiment directly (the direct route). And that he would have to wait for Vineeto and Peter to confirm its efficacy, which he could not guarantee.
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It is important to know that the practitioner does not need to read everything or practice everything. He will connect with some readings and some practices, and not with others. He will verify which ones are more useful for himself and which ones are not. He should not limit himself to the readings and practices of others, including actually free people, nor stop reading or practicing things because others (including AF people) have not done so.
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Regarding @geoffrey’s readings, for example, he only highlights as crucial to achieve AF the article “This moment of being alive” + the dialog between @jamesjjoo with Richard about addiction to suffering + some stuff by Vineeto (but when he was already advanced).
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Regarding his practices, for example, he never practiced HAIETMOBA and never experimented -nor wanted to experiment- with the “sweet spot” that, for example, @Srinath did experiment and verify. Instead, from the beginning, pure intention was crucial for him.
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He emphasized the repetition and constant “return” of Richard and Vineeto to the point about “feeling good again”, I think when he was seeking to generate (even to force, sometimes successfully) PCEs that would work like “darts” one of which would at some point end in AF, even by chance. He pointed out the wrongness of this attitude.
bat call
Is it too late to join? 
come
Still open for a bit but for the future, if anyone wants to host in the future, here’s the link to do it:
Thanks edzd for some fruitful conversation.
Especially about going to a higher plateau, on a feeling good spectrum, that will
bring about a new form of actualist common sense, that will not revert to lower level
of dealing with the world ( internally and externally ). Appreciate this wonderful and
reassuring feedback!
just finished thanks all!!!
Is there a way to be notified of future meet ups?
@Kiman this is the correspondance I was pointing to:
(Most of it is copied in the ‘selection’ you linked to, but this is more complete)
Edit: reading it again… it’s absolutely brilliant
It’s a bit late for me in Australia, I’ll catch the next one 
Interestingly, I felt a resistance and fear of joining in on a video meeting. I always had anxiety regarding phones and video calls, it is one of my least favourite parts of my job and one that I always worry about saying something dumb or still feel a pang of dread when my boss calls or a colleague. Once I am on the call it goes away and I am fine, it is always that build up before the call or answering the call. When I have formal calls to make like medical appointments and tax related issues it always takes a long build up for me to call, like I procrastinate. I am grateful that in my current job 98% of the time the video is switched off too. I am not comfortable seeing myself on video either.
Something to explore for sure.
My dad was a real tough mans man but he really hated using the phone and it would be one of the few times I would see him get flustered. I know that imprinted on me. So many of my fears/phobias come from my parents, siblings or strong negative events that have happened when young.
You’d think being on call with super open actualists would be fine and less daunting. I noticed there was an embarrassment and awkwardness to have to explain to my family who I am talking to and what I am doing as well.
@Kub933, hope you have a good session. It is my anniversary today and I have child care arrangements and I will be out for the day so I won’t join this one. Hopefully, another opportunity when I feel more comfortable.
And me too! But I always find as you say this disappears quickly and it is always worth it in the end.
I remember also before meeting Alan and Dona couple years back having this fear of being exposed as a fake actualist! 
That was there too especially anticipating talking to @geoffrey.