Sonya’s journal

[Kub933]

@claudiu

I would suggest in any situation where you feel the anger is productive, just consider what it is you actually wanted, whether it was sensible (which it may very well have been), and if it was sensible, would there not have been a different way to handle it, a felicitous way, where you still are firm, stand up for yourself, etc., but without getting angry about it?

Yes and my suspicion is that emotion fills the gap that exists because there is no factual grounding for the drama one finds oneself in, at core it is all about feeling.

So a trigger takes place and ‘I’ find myself getting emotional, ‘I’ feel hurt and so ‘I’ feel my emotions (whichever they are) are warranted/justified/righteous etc.

BUT this is where it gets fun, for ‘my’ righteousness in this situation depends entirely on a feeling, let’s say anger in this case. So of course ‘I’ want to hang onto that anger, for if the anger drops there is nothing else to support the drama. It was never grounded in fact so ‘I’ have nothing else to point to, the whole thing will unravel and leave nothing but empty air.

Just like what I wrote here - The "Rift" - #4 by Kub933 :

Which brings me to the next bit - frustration. This whole thing of “come on man, stop being so pedantic” is no less than saying “come on man, simply believe me!”, the frustration is because I want to believe and to be believed and yet I know deep down that if I was to be meticulous then it would become clear that there is actually no substance there, that it is just belief.

The frustration I was experiencing was a cover up for the fact that no substance lay underneath. To let go of the frustration would be admitting to this.

The above isn’t to say that when a situation happens there isn’t some practical considerations blended into the mix, but at core it all happens along the lines of what I have described below, in short it is all about the emotion, about what one felt to be the case - Kub933's Journal - #1004 by Kub933 :

This is where it gets completely ridiculous though, it’s something I have been observing for a while now. Because at this point the structure becomes the absolute, it is the primary concern. When a friend is late to meet me and ‘my’ plans come crashing down, I do not give a shit about the actual events.
The emotions that I am experiencing are entirely because ‘my structure’ is under attack. Somewhere in there ‘I’ confuse the integrity of the structure for actual safety/danger.