Sonya: Everything has been pretty steady lately, I’ve started to notice a few aspects in my life and interactions where love has crept in. For example, Kuba has been enjoying playing his video game, during the week I would come home and notice a feeling of disappointment come up to see him absorbed in his game. I noticed that what I was wanting after coming home, was to get the good feelings of a loving connection from him after not seeing him all day, and of course as soon as that wasn’t received it evolved to the bad feeling. Well, rather then mope about, I decided that I can, in fact, have a great time doing something that I wanted to do rather than wait around to receive some loving feelings, which would ultimately end in disappointment. So, I decided to go give Poncho a bath instead (visual reference below) (link)
Hi Sonya,
Are you aware that you have just transferred those “loving good feelings” to your dog who was at the time more receptive than Kuba? I am sure you will work out over time how you can relate in a more naïve intimacy-based relating – from fellow human being to fellow human being, who both basically share the same aim – to live together in peace and harmony, and revel in the delights of enjoying each other’s company and shared intimacy – once he takes a break from his game, that is.
Sonya: I used to always say that I looked forward to coming home from work and seeing Kuba, I now realise that what I was looking forward to was to receive the loving good feelings. (link)
A good observation, and it’s worthwhile to more and more replace that expectation “to receive the loving good feelings” with autonomy, which enables a non-possessive intimate relating and appreciation – togetherness and closeness, without expectation or blame, simply enjoying and appreciating as intimately as possible, a fellow human being’s company.
Cheers Vineeto