Hi Scout,
I can say for both of us we didn’t really see marriage happening as there wasn’t any sensible reason to at the time. Of course now the situation has changed and we have gotten married because it made sense.
For me it was seeing what someone was like when they were in love, and how someone who cared for me but wasn’t in love with me behaved. For the latter, we were both still living our own lives but didn’t fall into the typical ‘roles’ which meant less expectations and less resentment. In fact, there was just more caring and less control, manipulation. I think originally there was still some skepticism into exploring what a partnership will be like without love but I can say experiantally it’s the way to go. I also had to keep in mind that we weren’t just eliminating love but replacing it with something better and care and appreciation had to be at the forefront.