Kuba: But what that teenage boy called Kuba wanted back then is what I can live now, that just as the jumps jumped themselves, life lives itself, and just like ‘I’ would get out of the way just before a big jump being done ‘I’ can get out of the way and allow this moment to happen of it’s own accord.
I can see that the whole thrust of the conditioning that one is subjected to during their acculturation demands the opposite of one, that ‘I’ learn to be proud (and humble), that ‘I’ learn to take responsibility and obligation, that ‘I’ learn to attempt to fit life into ‘my’ schemes and plans, that ‘I’ learn to “worry about the future” etc.
Whereas this direction of life living itself, to contemplate proceeding there it requires naivete, it is 180 degrees opposite. It is seeing that ‘I’ am not required at all, whereas in the ‘real world’ to consider such a thing is seen as utter foolishness, it is a dog eat dog world out there after all.
Where life lives itself there is no longer any possibility for obligation or responsibility, then 'I’ am freed from this task of living 'my’ life. Just like ‘Richard’ could not take credit for the art which painted itself 'I’ can neither be proud nor humble where life lives itself, which means 'I’ can finally rest from the task of maintaining 'myself’ and 'my’ life.
That’s not such a big ask is it, to finally have a rest from all that. What I observe in ‘myself’ is that each time ‘I’ dare to proceed in this direction, of ‘my’ progressive retirement and eventually ‘my’ complete departure is that both the ‘human wisdom’ and ‘my’ instinctual nature will initially resist this.
From the eyes of ‘human wisdom’ it seems utterly foolish and from the eyes of ‘my’ passionate instinctual nature it feels dangerous. Yet looking back each time ‘I’ dared to release the controls and to step back a little more things only got better, and things have only been getting better, in every way going. (link)
Hi Kuba,
You are correct – looking at it sensibly/ apperceptively it is “not such a big ask is it, to finally have a rest from all that.” It is to stop doing what you have been told to do throughout your life – ‘doing it their way’ – and allow ‘doing’ what it happening of its own accord – ‘doing it your way’.
Respondent: What was the difference between you and them?
Richard: I am none too sure there was any difference: I was a normal person; I was born of normal parents; I had normal siblings; I had a normal upbringing; I attended a normal (state) school; I obtained a normal occupation; I had a normal wife; I had normal children … and so on and so forth.
Respondent: The way you describe it, it wasn’t even that much of a struggle for you (found the secret to life inside the first three months???).
Richard: It was inside the first few weeks, actually, of putting into action what was startlingly evident in the four-hour pure consciousness experience (PCE) which had finally provided the direction my otherwise following-the-herd way of living was singularly lacking (although there was a six-month incubation period between the PCE and the application thereof).
I distinctly recall informing my then-wife at the time that I had ‘done it their way’, for 34 years and to no avail, and that it was high-time I did it my way (and when she asked what way that was I said that I did not know but that it would become progressively apparent with each step I took).
Respondent: So why haven’t millions of others discovered that they can feel excellent by choosing to …
Richard: Quite possibly – and I am not being facetious here – they were/ are waiting for someone else to do it/ show the way (for, despite many peoples huff-and-puff about leaders, there have always been pioneers, who have blazed the trails others follow, and always will be).
Respondent: … unless, of course, they can’t …
Richard: It is not so much a case of they can not but, rather, that they will not. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, AF List, No. 60g, 30 Oct 2005b).
Richard: And although one may think and feel that it would be a lonely journey to take on one’s own it is not … it is the most joyous escapade one can ever enter into.
It is the jaunt of a lifetime. (Richard, AF List, Alan-b, 13 Dec 1999).
It looks like you get well used to and immensely enjoy now doing it your way, step by step.
Cheers Vineeto