Vineeto: Incidentally, sexual intimacy coupled with naiveté is an ideal opportunity as well to allow a PCE to happen. Richard talks about this in detail here (Richard, List D, No. 20, 9 Dec 2009 ).
Sonya: So, I’ve been reading this over and over again today. All I can say is WOW! . It’s cool to read how much better sex could be, how much more intimate I could be with Kuba.
Richard: It was not until after the four-hour PCE, which initiated the process resulting in an actual freedom, that it became obvious to me what such loss of self actually meant. Accordingly, I deliberately set out to induce a PCE via giving myself completely to her – totally and utterly – whilst hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm.
Sonya: This bit really got to me, It made me realise how I much I pull back when having sex. There’s a fear of giving myself to him. I feel like I need to hold back. I’m not sure why, it might be out of habit from previous sexual encounters with other people where it wasn’t the safest of situations. But I’ve just clocked what I’ve been doing. I do remember clearly one time experiencing the below mentioned “great sex” which was full of sweetness and I was so thrilled with it I immediately told my girlfriends. I think that’s what I need to keep referring back as my reference until I decide to raise the bar.
Magical sex sounds pretty fucking cool haha!
Hi Sonya,
It’s really fortuitous that you discovered that you don’t “need to hold back” in sexual intimacy – it is a wonderfully amazing way to explore intimacy and naiveté and experience instant tangible rewards. “Great sex which was full or sweetness” gives you the perfect motivation to have more of it, and take notice and then decline the emotional obstacles that could prevent experiencing such sweet intimacy again and again.
Don’t get discouraged when you discover some feelings of wanting to pull back, or some fear of going too far – this is only natural because sexuality has been for centuries accompanied by the strongest religious/ spiritual and social taboos. It is the most delicious and most straight-forward way to lose one’s ‘self’.
That’s when magical sex happens.
Richard: Good sex relates to togetherness. Very good sex relates to closeness. Great sex relates to sweetness. Excellent sex relates to richness. Magical sex relates to actuality.
To explain: togetherness is the companionship of doing things together – be it shopping, cooking, having sex, whatever – and pertains to the willingness to be and act in concert with another. A closeness is where the personal boundaries are expanded to include the other into one’s own space; this is a normal type of intimacy. A sweetness is when closeness entrées a lovely delight at the proximity of the other (although it can veer off into affection, ardency, love, oneness). A richness (aka an excellence experience) is where sweetness segues into a near-absence of agency via letting-go of control and one is the sex and sexuality (the beer and not the doer). Magical sex is where sex and sexuality are happening of their own accord – neither beer nor doer extant – and pristine purity abounds (an immaculate perfection). (link)
Cheers Vineeto