In even less words, enjoy and appreciate whatever is happening.
If she is inclined to cook and clean, enjoy and appreciate. If she is not, enjoy and appreciate.
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It was Richard who was inclined to make modifications to the house boat. He planned out, bought materials and was on the floor with me putting it together.
It was Vineeto who promptly would get up and go shopping. She also loved to sleep in, just as every woman I have been with had talent for!
Oh yes @Andrew I’m fully in favour of work division regardless of the gender…having clearly defined work roles is actually sensible as it avoids confusion…
But the only place, I would watch out for is when it endorses me as a “psychological man”
I’ve read that Article 5 about gender identity again to find a good reason n motivation to give up gender identity and I’ve finally found something…Without the gender identity, war between sexes is over…so the correct motivation seems to be the ending of these perpetual wars…but gotta contemplate it a bit more and see …
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Hmm, it seems off track to me. The goal is to be a self happy to end, with only the objections to that goal being worth looking at. Which are mostly synonymous with enjoying and appreciating, come what may. The goal and the means are the same thing.
Expections of roles is another thing entirely. If I were to be disappointed that my partner isn’t fulfilling my version of roles and my expectations of how a man and woman are “meant to be” (which is exactly what I have done previously) then I have something to look at to end the war.
Claudiu had some great observations in this post
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Specifically this bit, edit (it’s crediting me, while using Claudia’s avatar)
One can, unilaterally, simply give up the war psychologically.
Then it’s a matter of preference who one spends time with.
So you want somebody who love to talk? Even if they hate to clean?
Are you happy with someone who doesn’t talk much about feelings, but otherwise is happy to be around?
Then it’s an autonomous choice. One isn’t fulfilling a role, but deciding on who is the best compliment to you.
For me, I am out of the game of finding and selecting a partner for now. It’s my own company which is important. But I am 46. That’s naturally another stage of life.
Why do I always have to take out the bins lol?
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It’s good to see people getting the distinction…it’s indeed mighty freeing to stop being a man and instead being just a male !
Two quick notes :
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Nobody or nothing is wasting my time more than myself(wasting in the sense of an utterly fruitless endeavour like injecting Chlorophyl to leaves so it can do photosynthesis lol)…Its only ever “me” playing out past events or possible future scenarios in the head thats the most time-wasting thing I can do. The feeling is that I will miss out on something valuable if I stop this. The trick is to stop this unconditionally without worrying about whatever valuable thing I’ll miss out.
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Before self-immolation, the money in my bank account will put food on my table and pay my bills for survival and after self-immolation, the money in my bank account will put food on my table and pay my bills for survival. (…like that Buddhist quote, before enlightenment chop wood…lol)…There is this fearful feeling, that I’ll turn into a leaf blowing in the wind without the instincts…but the fact is that I need money to survive. The question is - if I go bankrupt or the monetary system collapses and things go to anarchy or whatever wild system, will I survive without the instincts ? Maybe…maybe not…but to live the next 40 or so years of my natural life remaining on earth with such kinds of fears seems rather pointless.
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What would that feeling be called?
Well, considering we have 10 seconds of oxygen in our brains, and a with few missed heartbeats, we have none; is 40 years of “natural life” a guarantee?
How about the most valuable thing we a clearly missing out on; enjoying our only moment of being alive?
I liked what Kuba said the other day about “success” (getting all those valuable things), how no one really enjoys them anyway.
It’s not only actualism noticing this. Desire has a way of being back looking for more no matter what it is fed.
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Value here is ultimately about survival, so this feeling is a form of fear. Its like if I keep this kind of thinking mechanism, maybe I’ll get something out of this that will aid in survival…so giving up this thinking mechanism will prevent me from discovering that info which would’ve aided in survival.
Oh yes, thats a given…death can happen pretty much any instant…CovidEbolaBoss-24 virus may be coming up or the nuclear armageddon scenario brewing up in recent times…or all we need is a drunk or sleep-deprived driver to loose attention for a split second while we were crossing the road at the very same time.
Hmm, maybe. How about if the feeling has no such detailed rationale?. No thought about collecting valuable “info” etc.
So it’s more of a belief than a feeling. That without access to the psychic web, I am at a survival disadvantage?
If I stopped rumination and fantasy, then things will not work out?
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I did this a few months back regarding work. Just cold - turkey. Stopped.
I wasn’t taking a risk at all, because I already had the facts from the past it had rarely, if ever, resulted in any positive outcomes. Probably got in the way of better outcomes actually.
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Yes, thats what I’m getting at !..So far in my 41 years of life I’ve never really got any such valuable info that has aided in my survival…so this thinking mechanism is just a form of pointless rumination or fantasy. Its all pretty much a useless mechanism wasting away my time…At 41, I’ve gathered enough life experience to navigate the world safely, so this rumination or fantasy mechanism is just like an appendix…it can be given up unconditionally.
Exactly!
I was pondering this outside just then. How survival never seemed to be the priority for me, it was always the reproductive drive.
Had an insight into something quite significant. A belief hiding in plain sight.
I believed because women in my society have more power in the dating market, that they also have more power to be happy. Which, I was believing obviously the reverse; Without a lot of power in the dating market, I lacked the power to be happy.
Sorry to change the topic. It was considering the difference of influence between survival and sexual attraction, and thinking about the belief we are discussing about needing to ruminate that sparked it.
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