Roy's Journal

[roy]

@Vineeto

I am just being careful remembering ‘Vineeto’s’ own experiences when ‘her’ confidence in having successfully dismantled some of ‘her’ social identity sometimes translated into impulsive actions, which were anything but beneficial … ‘oops’.

I see, thank you that makes sense.

@Vineeto

The reason for the long quote from Richard at the end of my last post was to give you some material to contemplate when you have the time and inclination. ‘Good’ feelings are just as passionate as ‘bad’ feelings, arising from the same instinctual passions, ‘me’ at the core of my being, and hence equally rotten at the core.

Richard: … Little did I realise that it was ‘The Good’ that kept ‘The Bad’ in place. I was soon to find this out. (Richard, List B, No. 31, 7 Mar 1998).

I think I get this intellectually but maybe I will only fully grasp how important it is experientially someday. I get the need to comprehend a concept and its opposite. So for example like Richard mentioned, I understand hatred because I also understand love, in contrast, and “one cannot exist without the other”.

Maybe related to this… I also get that feelings are interpreted by me as good/positive or bad/negative — for me. So for example, I may feel discomfort in the gut due to feeling anxious and I label that as bad/negative. On the other hand, in a different situation, I may feel discomfort in the gut due to feeling excited and I label that as good/positive. And the physical sensation is exactly the same. Not sure if you would consider anxiety/excitement as twins.

And controlling one’s attitude towards them does nothing to stop the other picking up on one’s vibes (to use a 60’s term). If one has the slightest trace of malice or sorrow toward the other, the prevailing wisdom is to be loving or compassionate … yet it does not work in practice. This is because there is a psychic connection between humans who have feelings.

Modifying one’s negative feelings toward the other by coating them with positive feelings may fool some people for some of the time. Usually, however, one is only fooling oneself, because the positive is born out of the negative. Without the negative feelings there are no positive feelings. No feelings at all means one is happy and harmless and the other leaves one alone … which does away with the need for that dubious remedy of pacifism (non-violence).

— Richard [source]

Interestingly I did some research and once more the concept of “vibes” shows up. I looked around on the site and still don’t understand what it refers to in the context of actuality, but I have to read more. For me vibes are in the same bucket of auras and crystals

EDIT:

Regarding the vibes, I used to believe in vibes. For example: “I don’t trust this person, because he is giving me negative/weird vibes”. But eventually I realized it was just prejudice. For eg, there was this one person I felt negativity towards and one day I was reminded of someone else, from my youth, that looked similar. I think now that somehow, unconsciously, this was the cause for my distrust.

Similarly, I used to believe in psychic connections. One time I had a panic attack out of the blue and later learned that a person dear to me had died at precisely that time. And so I connected the two. But nowadays I simply think this was a weird coincidence.