Long one on sex here:
Apart from a belated thank you for your ‘welcome back’ message there is not much else to say so I will attend to your current request for elaboration on going about deliberately setting out to induce a PCE via giving oneself completely to one’s partner – totally and utterly – during sexual congress. As you have inadvertently snipped off a vital component I will re-quote the relevant section here in full for convenience:
• [Richard]: ‘Accordingly, I deliberately set out to induce a PCE via giving myself completely to her – totally and utterly – whilst hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm (something which I had discovered whilst pubescent)’.
It was only a few years ago that I found out that what I had discovered for myself, during an intensive masturbatory period from pubescence (12 years old) to my first wedding night (19 years old), had both names and descriptions … to wit (unromantic) titles such as ‘edging’, ‘coitus reservatus’, ‘orgasmic brinkmanship’, ‘peaking’, ‘surfing’ (and even ‘male continence’ and ‘coitus sine ejaculatione seminis’).
Here are a couple of examples: Entertainment; http://tinyurl.com/sexual-edging (Incidentally, once I had regular access to the real thing – a willing hetero-sexual partner as randy as myself – that mono-sexual practice discovered while pubescent, being devoid as it is of intimacy with a fellow human being, rapidly faded away into a vague memory where it languished unrecalled, for around 14 years, until being resurrected for the purpose of giving myself completely, totally and utterly to my first wife).
Now, to explain hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm it may be of assistance to present it graphically: as an orgasm requires building up to a peak of sexual excitation, before tipping over the other side for a glorious slide down the slope on that other side of the mountain, it can be represented by an upside down ‘V’.
As the aim is to prolong that exquisite moment prior to tipping over the other side it requires a slight pulling-back downwards, of sexual excitation when an orgasm is imminent; within seconds, once the sexual excitation stabilises, it can be intensified once more; again, upon an orgasm being imminent, another slight pulling-back downwards, of sexual excitation is required; and once that sexual excitation stabilises, it too can be intensified once more … and so on and so on and so on. What will happen, upon much delicious practice – ain’t life grand! – is that the slight pulling-back downwards, of sexual excitation when the orgasm is once again imminent, becomes both easier and easier and less and less downwards; eventually there can be an easing back-and-forth, at the moment just prior to the orgasm’s imminence, along an ever-increasingly lengthening plateau at the peak; this can be represented by that upside down ‘V’ having a flat-line where there was once only an apex.
Again with much delicious practice – my word life is indeed grand! – that flat-line peak can be lengthened indefinitely as the need to pull-back downwards decreases with experience; eventually there is the aforementioned hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm with but the slightest increase/ decrease in sexual excitation; at this stage the upside down ‘V’ with the flat-line plateau – where there was once only an apex – can be representative by that flat-line plateau disappearing off either side of this page (with no sloping sides at either end to represent the slope both up to and down from that indefinitely prolonged peaking plateau).
Please note that this disappearance of the slopes is vital as the aim is for there to be only that plateau and neither climbing up nor sliding down ever happens; there is only the hovering indefinitely on that orgastic plateau when all else drops away. Once this is established the sex takes care of itself and full attention can be paid to intimacy; with much delicious practice – oh how grand life is! – the attainment of that endlessly orgastic plateau can be obtained within 60-90 seconds after penile penetration (provided there be sufficient sexual stimulation just prior such as the oh-so-delicious soixante-neuf[
](javascript:void(0)) – which perfect arrangement of face-to-genital distancing almost makes one think those credulous persons believing in an ‘Intelligent Designer’ may have a point after all – as there cannot possibly be a more delightful way to prepare for hours of orgastic hovering whilst intimacy unfolds in all its luscious wonder).
Now, the way to have intimacy unfold, in all its luscious wonder, is to be aware all the while (with that unique human ability to be conscious of being sentient) that your sexual partner likes being with you so much that they are willing to spend their most valuable asset – their time – not only being with you but having you inside them/ having them inside you (dependent upon gender) for this most physically intimate way of associating possible.
In other words one is always aware, with that second-level awareness, all the while primary consciousness is sexually engrossed, just how precious this opportunity is as – out of all 3.0 billion women/ out of all 3.0 billion men (dependent upon gender) – this fellow human being has chosen you, and only you, to be so intimately entwined with. In short: having sex/ being intimate with her/ with him (dependent upon gender) is very special – so special as to be precious – and this very preciosity readily enables giving oneself completely to one’s partner – totally and utterly – during sexual congress.
All this while the hands, fingers, lips, tongue and eyes can roam all about with much delicious kissing, nibbling, nuzzling, fondling, smelling, listening, tasting, touching, looking and all the rest which such a physical embrace, such physical proximity so exquisitely provides for; the neck below the ear- lobe, for instance, is an especial delight and to eventually indulge in never-ending open-mouthed kissing – at the heights of sexual arousal – is to be breathing each other’s breath in a most personal way of gradually depriving the brain of oxygen as to even further increase both arousal and intimate contact (togetherness, closeness, sweetness, richness, actuality).
(Meanwhile, back at the sex taking care of itself, that hovering indefinitely on the orgastic plateau has catapulted one into what I chose to call a sexual world: another dimension, as it were, where sex and sexuality is virtually dripping off the walls; a sexual dimension where all you are is an enormous penis/ an enormous vagina (dependent upon gender) which has grown legs and feet to walk to food and drink sources to sustain itself/ yourself, and arms and hands to assist in that process, so as to have yet more and more of what it/ you is/ are here for at this particular moment (endless effortless sexual congress); a rampant sexual dimension where all other people and things have receded into the background; a dripping-with- sex-and-sexuality dimension where there is only this beginningless and endless moment where you both cannot ever possibly have enough of each other; a consummately durationless moment where all there is is you and her/ you and him (dependent upon gender) hovering on that endlessly orgastic plateau of supreme sexuality and intimacy).
And then … !Hey Presto! … no separation whatsoever.
Regards, Richard.
Might write a journal article about sex soon, not that I have pulled off what Richard is talking about here. Sex has played a major role for me in the past couple weeks. But the most recent thing that happened was a moment of pulling back from intimacy through fear, and I am hoping to sort that out soon.