The only comment I would make is that it makes no sense to me to separate feeling good and allowing purity into some dichotomy and especially to see it as feeling good vs allowing purity. Bearing in mind that feeling felicitous is an imitation of the actual, how could I be feeling felicitous and not allowing that purity to whatever degree. And how could I be allowing that purity without feeling good. I think this is where the pure intent diagram posted above might help to illustrate this. Although it could be what @Felix mentioned, perhaps it is once a connection is made to pure intent that those 2 can no longer be separated, experientially I cannot differentiate between the 2. The choice to feel good for me is the choice to allow purity and vice versa.
Ultimately I don’t think it matters how you slice it for yourself personally @Kub933. Although we are putting things into words here, what we are describing in terms of our psychological experiences is pretty complex! I think going along the journey, everyone is going to have a different map in their head. For you this “allow purity” thing is mapped and sounds like a great pointer for you.
I’m not saying there is no link between feeling good and accessing a deeper level of naïveté/sensuosity (which I’d say is necessary to “access purity” as you put it), but I do think it’s possible to feel good in a basic way without doing that. Again if you’ve had recent PCEs and such, you might be able to go further all at once!
For me personally as I said, feeling good each moment again is a big enough goal for now. I think if I told myself to “access purity” as a goal - I’d start to lose awareness of how I felt emotionally and start deviating from feeling good. That’s just me though - I’ve gone back to basics and just made feeling good each moment again my goal. The beginner approach essentially.
How do you go with “accessing purity” each moment again @Kub933?
Reading this is very helpful and a good reminder.
Hi Felix, do you do this via “How Am I Experiencing This Moment of Being Alive” ?
Any further pointers that you have, would be appreciated again.
It’s as simple as asking HAEITMOBA, realising if I don’t feel good (or appreciating it if I do) and tracing back to when I last felt good!
This usually shows up whatever the issue is - which as I see as silly or put on a “it doesn’t really matter” basis. Sometimes there is still traces of other bad feelings - for example I might see I’m a bit irritated about being tired or something like that, even though the trigger was a different issue. My goal is to maintain a clean feeling good.
Its clear to me now that no matter what, it doesn’t make sense not to feel good emotionally (regardless of anything that might look like an issue).
Question for Felix or anyone else.
I find myself aware of feeling good and a few moments later I catch myself daydreaming or thinking about something. And that seems to take away to some degree the feeling good that I had prior to
the to that daydream or thought. I may not even be feeling bad, but I have lost awareness of feeling good. Is that something that needs to be addressed ?
Are we “allowed” lol, to daydream or think, or “should” our awareness stay on HAIETMOBA ???
So we don’t get distracted ???
RICHARD: Basically imagining means forming mental pictures of objects that are not present or situations that are not happening … whereas the actual is marvellous beyond one’s wildest dreams and schemes.
I am not sure what you mean by this? Do you
mean how do I go about doing it? ie what do I do to allow purity?
If you mean how do I go about it, I just read your post - Felix's Diary - #149 by Felix and it sounds very similar to what my experience would be 
I will write more when I get to work. But in short it is noticing that ‘I’ am currently blocking it in whatever way eg by being that anxious energy and then instead orienting myself towards purity.
I was more asking if you have success with accessing the purity each moment again? (Including in terms of framing it in that way).
I’m also trying to work out if you are doing something else to me or the same thing haha.
Yeah I notice what I’m feeling and what’s behind it - it’s similar to popping bubbles. This frees me up and frees my senses. It’s becoming easier these days.
Sometimes if I’m not letting go of the feeling I ask myself if I’m being naive enough, and remind myself of the whole goal (peace on earth).
But there also has to be a willingness to taste this moment - as much as I can look at my feelings and feel better, that gap will always be filled with new feelings if I don’t find some way to “bite” into this moment by enjoying and appreciating.
However, in terms of the post you referenced from last night, that is more an outlier experience than my ongoing method. I don’t think I could maintain that in daily living - too many triggers for now.
In terms of dismantling beliefs, it seems to be more about reducing the feelings associated rather than just seeing the belief as silly. It’s more like a weakening.
Lately I’ve been doing that with sexual attraction, and specifically homosexuality. I’m wondering how much of my perceived biological homosexuality is actually identity-based. I’ve always thought of myself as possibly bisexual and lately the possibility of being with females is coming to the fore a lot more. Something I’m exploring anyway!
Oh I see, so firstly I describe it as ‘allowing purity’ as this is experientially what it’s like for me.
Also I should say that this happens in gradients, it is not a yes/no sorta thing, it seems the connection is there more or less at all times but the bandwidth changes.
Day to day it expresses itself roughly in the below 3 stages :
-
Swimming in Purity - This is what I was experiencing on Friday after contemplating one of the threads on here. It happened of its own accord as a result of the fascinated contemplation. I then find myself in what appears to be an EE, ‘I’ am still there but I am swimming in pure intent, it is all around, seems like ‘I’ am the flimsiest of films. Resentment is nowhere to be found, and separation is markedly diminished. In this example it seems extremely easy but only because it is already happening
-
Orienting myself towards Purity - This is where I would say I spend most of my time, it is a constant back and forth, like the needle of some measuring device constantly flickering between ‘being’ and purity. How this typically plays out is somewhat similar to what you wrote in your near peak experience post. I find that I am blocking that purity by being whatever good/bad feelings, this noticing allows me to orient myself back towards purity. There has to be an agreement on my part to allow this purity, if I am not in agreement and a part of me is holding back then it would be down to stage 3 (below).
-
Digging myself out of a hole
- This is where I find myself stuck in some feeling pattern and feeling emotionally overwhelmed. I think the connection to purity is still there during those times but it is just that ‘I’ am completely overwhelming the experience with emotion. During those times my approach would be very much what you describe as ‘doing the work’ and sorta ‘going back to the basics’. This is where I might have to take a bit of a back step, experience this affective structure fully, explore the whole issue etc. Sooner or later I am back on track and then its a case of getting onto number 2 and 1 again, this describes the bulk of what is happening to me experientially nowadays. The game is to spend more time in number 2 and 1, ideally number 1.
I think this is the most vital part >> agreeing to enjoy this moment. Feeling happy and harmless or orienting towards purity (for me it’s innocence) amounts to the same thing in my book. The impelling force vs the propelling force is a wrong equation like you already pointed out.
In my own experience, pure intent is always there on some level. It’s my navigational device, my Northstar, so to speak.
But it’s not a “force” I feel in my everyday life, though I know it’s force and potency very intimately. It’s more like a measurement device I can always use to compare myself against. Without it, I wouldn’t exactly know how “dirty or clean” I am at any given moment. Because I can become very sublime, humble, righteous etc and feel “clean”. The purity/innocence of the actual world however, detects very precisely where I am at.
Hey Felix! I was reading your post and this part caught my attention.
I’ve been wondering about the same thing since I started my journey in actualism. I don’t really experience attraction to women, and in fact, I’m quite happy living with my boyfriend, but I still wonder how much of the preference for men over women is part of my identity and how much is a biological aspect of this body. Have you discovered something about this in your investigations? 
I’m thinking that the allusion to ‘purity seeping through,’ pure intent type stuff is the connection, in whatever form, that keeps one being interested in peace, in feeling good, in becoming free. Anyone and everyone can feel good every now and then as a matter of happenstance, but what makes an actualist is having that sense that makes one want to feel good when not feeling good, or wanting to feel even better when already feeling good.
I still think that any kind of good mood has some thread of purity in it, but there is something different happening once that benediction of pure intent occurs.
I think the resentment is what keeps us human, I can’t say how many times I’ve had PCEs end with “well this is all great but what about…”
It’s ‘me’ that has some problem, and that problem is what prevents perfection from being apparent. I never don’t have a problem, and it’s experienced as painful. That’s what the resentment comes from. ‘I’ can never fully relax.
In my opinion, daydreaming is rather normal and shouldn’t be a problem as long as it doesn’t become too exessive. Daydreaming is btw, a very good opportunity to observe yourself, your dreams, recurrent themes, visions, etc.They tell a lot about you.
As you know the distraction/diversion happens very often when facing problems, uncertainties, fears, etc., but also when the self feels bored in the sense that nothing around you seems to be interesting or significant enough to hold your attention.
In that case, I like to remind myself that the universe is neither passive nor inert, and I start looking for clues on how this fact manifests itself. Mostly, it doesn’t take too long before I find something that leads me into contemplation and faszination.
Can you describe an example of the universe being non-passive?
Hmm lol already questioning my own utterances from days ago haha
I think it’s Peter that mentions that a genuine realization is often accompanied by a feeling of embarrassment… “how could I think that all these years?”
Nothing for it but to keep ramping up the sincerity & go on
It’s nothing special, Henry. The easiest way for me is to be aware of the body and how it “and” the world self-organize without any input from me. I keep in mind that I’m not physical and will watch how things go from there.
I watch TV while drinking a glass of water, vaping my e-cigarette, going to the bathroom, etc. There is a kind of awareness where I’m, in a sense, “leaning back” and letting the world do its thing. I try not to interfere, so to speak. It may feel awkward at first, but when I slowly “release” my grip, the body starts to walk and do things on its own. This can be seen on whatever level one is able to at that moment. This is not to be confused with watching your breath, etc., because this is considered a “passive movement”, while walking and doing things, on the other hand, are considered “active” movements.
I remember a day where I was typing on my keyboard doing “boring” things at work and became fascinated by how fast I was able to do all these things very precisely and adequately. It was all way too fast for “me.” I was in a flow-state and watching my fingertips get even faster, and I was becoming more fascinated by the moment when a PCE occurred. In one moment I was “behind the picture” and in the next moment I was “in the picture”, so to speak.
I try out all kinds of things just for the fun of it. I’m just curious and naive enough to peek holes into the wall to see what happens-just like little kids do
Wow, thank you Elgin, I am so glad to read practical applications of naivete ( sincerity ) in this
forum.
I was the youngest sibling so I never really got to live with somebody younger and see the process of them growing up. Nieces, nephews and cousins kids were my first exposure to seeing people grow up but you see them here and there and don’t get a full sense of their development.
My own kids are the first time I have directly seen somebody younger than me grow up. So it has been interesting to see how their personalities and traits begin to evolve and morph.
For all my kids I have noticed the beginnings of resentment begin to foster at around the age of 4. It is usually in the form of resistance and frustration if you interrupt some joyful activity they are doing or if you ask them to pick up an object or pass them something.
It seems around 7 to 8 it just seems to grow as to possible causes of resentment, having to learn, having to tidy toys or do anything that deters them from their own desires, telling off the wrong person or making a mistake in the laying down of the rules. They start to recall past wrong doings or misjustices. The personalities vary from how much they hold on to grudges and they have dispositions as to which type of misjustices or causes more stick in their mind that they feel indignant about.
My eldest is 11 now and the teenage hormones are beginning to kick in and there is so much more layers of resistance and resentment starting to appear. For my eldest at times having to help and be responsible for the younger two triggers frustration too. Her sense of self is becoming more distinct and defined. The boundaries of what she accepts and doesn’t accept. She is getting more unpredictable in her behaviour. Which I noticed makes me uncomfortable. I seek to try and figure people out like some equation, do x,y and z and get x, y and z response, it is not that neat and simple with people though.
It is interesting to see how normalised it is to feel resentment. Nobody seems to have any qualms about resentment being a thing. It is almost a “just” feeling in certain contexts, not factually but within our emotional narratives.
Yesterday in the call we touched upon the subject of blind spots briefly. I think acknowledgement of my own resentment was an initial blind spot. I didn’t think I had any resentment in me when first introduced to AF but I was obviously lying to myself. I didn’t want to accept any facts that could dent my love of highs from learning and creativity and the identities obviously formed from these passions.
Now I see resentment as one of the most common recurring emotions disrupting my felicitous and sensuous moments.
This comedy sketch about the changes from childhood to adolescence always stuck in my head lol. The true origin of resentment here lol.
