I took some notes from our meeting with @geoffrey Friday July 29, figured I’d make a new topic if anyone else wants to post notes for future meetings~
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I desire oblivion to escape from suffering
This way I can use my desire to escape from suffering in a productive way - on the one-way ticket. -
Am I more addicted to the escape from suffering, or to the suffering?
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There is a ton of information on the AFT (and now on the forum and simpleactualism.com) and you don’t have to use all of it, just find what works for you and do that. All roads lead to Rome with this process anyway - there are lots of things @geoffrey never used or even read.
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Out-from-control is like a decision to be in an EE all the time
Fear is there, but is expressed as thrill - all emotions present, but everything is directed to freedom via intent
The entirety of ‘me’ as a feeling being going for it - full commitment, sincerity
The decision to go for it
I bolded this because it seemed to be an important moment. It has to be a sincere decision, with all parts of me in agreement. But freedom doesn’t happen until that decision to go for it happens, as a simple decision. That’s what makes ‘I’m going to enjoy + appreciate no matter what’ happen, which leads to out-from-control and then to freedom
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Pay attention to what you do when you get out of the PCE. Use that time to cement intent, because you won’t be able to remember the PCE. But you can remember what you think and decide right after.
PCEs aren’t like normal memories because the important aspect is the lack of ‘being,’ which can’t be directly remembered. It’s not so important what you looked at, what you were doing, who you were with, as it is to understand how it works, how ‘being’ works, and to get to the point where you have the intent to go for it. -
That’s how you can generate pure intent - it’s the connection between the PCE and the experience you’re having right now - an awareness of the purity. Keeping it as ‘just a memory’ keeps it at a distance. What you want is to recognize that there is something actual happening right now, and the PCE was a window into that. You can tap into it now, by recalling the ‘fragrance/flavor’ of it.
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Even thinking in terms of ‘progress’ is history, you’ve brought time into things = identity.
Focus only on what is happening RIGHT NOW, what is the emotion right now, where is purity right now. This now is all that exists. Right now is where you’ll become free.
Intent
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Out-from-control seems to be a necessary step which happens automatically toward the end. It also seems it’s possible to lose out-from-control, as Irene/Devika did.
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Ramp up the pure intent (connection to purity) as much as possible
The more naive I am, the more pure intent is operative & dynamical
Naive = less sophisticated, less imposing an agenda
Benevolent = wishing well -
You want a genuine decision (to go for it, but also as an outcome of investigations in general). When it’s made it will seem sensible, not something that is forced at all. It’s important to not rush yourself. Rushing/forcing creates tension, it’s much better to allow any parts of yourself that may be ‘holding out’ for some reason to resolve themselves however they need to. @geoffrey cites Vineeto saying, ‘go out and get that boy/girlfriend,’ basically go ahead and resolve whatever real-world thing you need to.
If these things are not resolved, it results in a ‘split’ within you where one part of you is trying to force another part of you to become free, to ‘behave.’ This won’t help you because it’s still you on both sides. By being gentle, by exploring, these things can be resolved. It can and will take time for this to happen -
This decision to go for it, to go out-from-control, to let the momentum take one, will be made with the entirety of oneself. Very straightforwardly, sensibly. @John describes what this type of decision looks like well here
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“You just have to chill”
It’s easy to take all this too seriously, a light touch & relaxed attitude goes a long way -
Don’t be hard on yourself! Be your own best friend.
You can’t help that as an identity you will dissociate, you will moralize, you will have a strong social identity.
Unify yourself as much as possible (this goes back to the not ‘splitting’ thing. Resolve whatever issues you have as much as you can)
Just grab onto that pure intent when you can and figure it out as you go -
Admit that I am in charge of my own feelings. It’s all me - I am the only one who decides how I feel
Steer toward feeling good! -
You can ask yourself - Am I committed to feeling good?
The whole of myself has to be committed for anything to happen
Whatever part of me isn’t ready, is something to resolve. -
“Feeling beings always are the ‘special one’”
Whether that is in the positive, or as in ‘I am especially cursed’