Mushrooms advice

Ok.

First trip report.

1 gram of dried subaeruginosa, which was told to me as being “not very strong”, was enough to be useful.

Prepared by chopping finely, soaked in a squeeze of lemon juice, then soaked in tap water, the added to a camomile, ginger and honey tea. Via the use of a “coffee plunger” to leave only the tea.

I see why, in the right hands, psychedelic mushrooms are potentially the best therapeutic tool we have.

I was still able to think, and spent time laughing at the various thoughts as the myriad of different geometric landscapes unfold behind closed eyes.

Even with my eyes open, there was still some effects.

I can easily see why people can become “evangelistic” about mushrooms.

There is more I choose not to explore this trip. I chose to enjoy it as a successful foray, knowing that I can go back confidently and see more with the other gram I have.

The key for me was enjoying, and laughing. I was left with a few hours of excellent “thinking time”.

Out of which I am starting to see the manipulation which the ‘feminine’ has had over me. My lack of enjoying life is directly linked to the way I relate to sex.

Anyway, it’s pointless to write an essay on my own questions and what I need to experience.

If anyone is curious, a phone convo would be far more fun than an essay here.

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I read this and thought oh shit next part will say “it sent me to hell and back” :joy:

I’d be interested to hear more especially about the feminine and the sex, although I don’t think I’ll have time for a call, maybe once it’s more crystallised you will want to write something about it.

I want to act on what I have realised before writing anything about it.

The last thing I want is to be any more prolific in my writing without more depth of experience writing it.

Open to phone calls though. That may even help “crystallise” it.

As @Kub933 said above, this definitely needed more time to crystallize.

It’s good I chose not to go further into it on Sunday, (despite a big squid trying to drag me in with it tentacles :rofl:), this topic of naive intimacy with myself is were the real game is at.

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Trip Report 2.

Ok. So I shouldn’t have added tumeric and black pepper to the tea.

Very buzzing experience. Like taking that “gym energy powder” stuff. Like a trip to every annoyingly colourful, superficial place I never wanted to go.

The theme was aggression. Aggression towards myself was front and centre.

It was all very disassociated. Like arguments between everything.

The mushrooms kept saying “why did you have to bring them here? We are going to do the work, but you are not going to enjoy it”

That was another theme. Trying to bring others with me.

The over-arching theme was even stronger;

I am being tricked.

Sometimes people want my aggression, when it suits them. Then, when it doesn’t suit them , I am discarded.

This aggression towards myself, of course is ‘me’. I haven’t quite got that yet.

So, far from useless, but as the mushrooms kept insisting, stop trying to bring others.

Tumeric and pepper are off my menu for a while.

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Trip Report 3.

10 grams fresh Psilocybe Cubensis “Tidal Wave” strain. (Dried over night, to be around 5 grams).

Same preparation as before, but had to guess the strength as I hadn’t worked with fresh mushrooms before. I went very conservative as the mushroom was a very dark blue all through it, and had read they are a very strong strain. Ended up being too conservative, and went for half, followed an hour later by the other half. Could well have gone for more, but didn’t have any more.

So, it’s unequivocally obvious that I am a feeling. A rather argumentative one at that! Recalcitrant, one may say @claudiu :wink:

The same theme as Trip 2 was there, the elaborate “fair ground” fakery. Obviously, the geometry was intricate and amazing, but I wasn’t there for sight seeing.

What can I say? I spent a fair amount of time arguing. Knowing from the get-go I was fighting myself.

I could go into intricate detail, yet, as any psychonaut will probably tell you; there is a distinct choice whether one is in there to “get shit done” or rather to report back on it.

It’s plainly obvious that it’s up to me whether I will continue to hold on to my rage and sadness, or will, one last time, dare to build a space where it will be possible to choose to self-immolate.

Oh, as an aside, and of little importance at all except for the lulz; it all started, the entire “human condition” because it was a rather startling shade of blue :wink: We just got confused. :sob::rofl:

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Haha not even the Buddha knew the origins of it all. Congratulations on finding this universally-edifying fact :grin:

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You’re welcome. What made it funny was it’s ultimate irrelevance.

“Oh! I got scared because it was so bright and blue!”

For the record, I am circumspect about what I experience whilst “tripping” because I have had many of these experiences without psychedelics in my 20s.

I liken it to the scene in “Return of the Jedi” when Luke goes into the cave “strong in the Darkside”.

One only finds what one brings with them.

If one believes in fairies and wise spirits, that it what is there.

However, it is very clear to me that there is a very clear choice made at the beginning of a “trip”.

Keep seeing what you want to see, or see what it is you want to see.

It’s not a trick phrase; it’s all the difference.

In the first scenario, one wants to see a preconceived view. In the later, one wants to discover what one brought with them.

Oh, another funny aside; learning a language whilst also exploring psychedelics may result in having to try and remember what words mean because one is arguing in Russian.

That was the goal I set for myself, also with mushrooms, last summer: “build a launch pad from which I can self-immolate”

Still building, but it’s nice sweating over some honest work :grin:

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Trip report 4

Live.

Been on 30 grams of fresh Psilocybe Cubensis “Tidal Wave” for around nearly 5 hours.

Identity is so strong, it surrounds everything with a field.

All the art. All the people who will only go this far.

What a waste!!!

To only go this far…to come back with poems and art!!

What a wasted opportunity to have enjoyed it fully.

To paint pictures of a distorted reality and make money!!!

Fools.

I am forcing myself to write this now.

Treading a line between identity and identity.

Careful not to cast off one, just to become another.

Enjoying the limits of my prison.

I know I am not ready yet.

But I will be

The art I bring back will not be sketchy outlines of trees, and faded stalls in a stoner market place.

It will be me. A more enjoyable to be around me.

That’s all that makes sense to do.

No serious feelings can get me over that line.

I tried like a madman in the back yard. Still before a line in the sand before the magnificent gum tree in the front yard…

But I must stop there.

I don’t want art, or music. Or moving words.

I know what I want.

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30 grams seems like a typo? Do you mean 3g? 30g would be about 1oz of shrooms. I’m not sure you’d be able to see straight.

I noticed afterwards that Andrew mentioned “fresh.” So equivalent to approx. 3g dry. This still would have been a very intense journey. I wonder if he staggered it like last time or had it in one go.

Came across a report of a young fellow who consumed 30g dry. It notes his body weight at 160 lbs. Grain of salt as always, but still an entertaining read.
https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=25612

30 grams wet. So, yes, about 3 grams dry. Staggered about 1 hour, so 15 grams, then 15 grams.

I missed that detail, thanks y’all.

Trip 5.

Mathematically, I am in the absolute peak of 31.4 grams of fresh Cubensis “Tidal Wave” strain.

I am, almost completely sober in most respects.

I am exactly where I feared. Right here. Normal.

When I say sober, I mean very little visual distortion.

The “trip” is all inside. Where it always is. Normal is a trip.

I could have found mushrooms years ago. I was afraid they wouldn’t be the magic pill.

However, even though I deliberately stayed “sober” as I knew none of the previous visual effects where the actual world, I also know what I have always known “normal” isn’t actual either.

I always have to force myself to say anything at the most important times.

I feel very much like I did on the house boat with Richard and Vineeto. Normal.

However, I am always reminded about something Srinath said " Any rancour against the normal only perpetuates it"

So nothing can be said?

Sorta. I get why someone may become free and not tell anyone. It’s not as silly as it sounds.

Another report! Another reason to read and ponder!

There are so many reasons I stay normal. Some sound heroic, some profound. Some are simply I am so used to being like this, it seems…

Like I am not allowed to be anything else.

There is almost no emotion as I write.

I swore I wouldn’t write. It is fun though. Something to do while I figure out how to have more fun???

Haha.

Stopping there.

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I recognise now, in hindsight, that at around 10am this morning, when the “come up” began, that I exercised sincerity.

I stayed with the “zero distortion” of eye sight.

So currently I am infact “tripping” very strongly on being ‘normal’.

The theme really is all about allowing myself to enjoy life.

I have always been seeking permission from others. Especially beautiful, or cool or anything “better” than me to enjoy being alive.

Even now, I wonder what use it is to write?

What could I actually add to all that has been said?
Except of course, another honest report of an identity seeking to employ the actualism method and find a way to do whatever they can to bring an end to the senseless suffering in the world.

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Trip 5a.
27 fresh grams more in total, at 2pm, 2:50 pm.

A big part of the issue for me is habitual seriousness. So much so, that even as sincere as the decision this morning was, it was a serious one. Sincerely serious. :rofl:

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Trip 5b 7pm, 10 fresh grams.

I spent a couple of hours with my son. I didn’t enjoy being who I am, someone “half way”. As genuine as I could be, but not far enough.

Interesting how even though that it 67 grams in a day, of reportedly the strongest Cubensis strain currently available, I can still be very normal.

Putting my mind back on task, but only enjoying in a very intellectual way. Sorta regretting not just doing the whole “lights and fireworks”.