Milito’s Journal

[Kub933]

And this psychic tension has the flavour of excitement/thrill, it’s like new territory for me. Firstly the stepping outside of authority and secondly the ability to be at odds with another (what I would always experience as conflict and avoid at all costs) without malice.

[claudiu]

@Kub933

@claudiu

Humm well just at a high level… do you see how you are in a sense currently ‘anchored’ at a point where what actually free, fully meaning-of-life-free Vineeto writes, you are disagreeing with, and finding what she does “weird”,

Are you referring here to the crying with the police incident or my comment that this way of communicating is weird?

It was just a general impression of push-back against what Vineeto was saying, in favor/defense of Milito.

@Kub933

With regards to this way of communicating being weird, I could have (and probably should have) used a different word. So let me rephrase and say that I find this way of communicating to be ineffective, Vineeto does not actively participate on this forum which means there is less possibility to clarify things, clearly this resulted in her quoting the wrong bit of writing and basing a whole response on it.

Perhaps a more effective way would have been if she enquired as to which bit I was referring to specifically as opposed to making an incorrect assumption.

Perhaps – if you want to have a more back-and-forth with her it’s probably most effective if you reach out via e-mail to her.

@Kub933

@claudiu

If Milito were aligned towards the same direction as Vineeto is, would there be this (psychic) tension that is palpably happening?

The palpable psychic tension (on my part anyways) seems to be almost a shock in response to what I have read and the way the communication is happening.

I’m curious your experience of it. For me after I wrote my last message, in maybe 5-20 minutes I experienced it as completely diffusing (I did some stuff on Twitter, then checked and no reply, then went to shave, and felt it shift as I was shaving. I came to check back and still no replies at that point). I found this often happens after I voice the psychic currents nature of an exchange explicitly on the forum!

Now there is still a bit of it left but without that heaviness from the initial exchanges. Did anything change for you when you wrote my last reply? Does the timing line up?

[Kub933]

So nothing has changed with regards to this rift I mentioned. As in it seems it is all at odds at the moment, without being able to place myself this way or that way.
But I guess the thing which changed is noticing that despite the fact that there are many things I don’t agree with here, I don’t find myself at conflict with you. And I don’t need to be at conflict because I am not taking allegiance.

But this whole rift thing is more interesting to me, am I the only one who has been sensing it by the way? It seems it goes further back to before Srinath left the forum. If I was to make a caricature of it I would say it’s like the old school actualism versus the new school actualism.

[Kub933]

And the most specific example of this I could make is the way that Richard and Vineeto communicate, what would usually be classed as ‘nit picking’, a style which you also favour. I appreciate that the intention there is actually to be meticulous about the details.

Even before the recent events with Milito there was already a clash there. With you as the champion of that style and with Srinath commenting that this kind of communication was actually getting in the way.

I find myself leaning towards the ‘it’s getting in the way’.

[Kub933]

And this is something I was considering lately, to what extent one’s actualist identity is one of the last things which needs to go, and also one of the last things which might be actively blocking one from going all the way.

Of course actualism is not a belief system, but could one really say with complete confidence that as a feeling being they have not made actualism into a belief system, not even a little bit, not on any level? That it has not in some way become a caricature and infiltrated into ones personality, that it has not influenced certain character traits based on morality, that one has not in some way aligned oneself with what an ‘actualist’ is?

And if this has happened, which I think it’s almost guaranteed it has, then this is not originality, so how is one going to be ingenuous enough to go all the way?

[claudiu]

@Kub933

But I guess the thing which changed is noticing that despite the fact that there are many things I don’t agree with here, I don’t find myself at conflict with you. And I don’t need to be at conflict because I am not taking allegiance.

Awesome

I don’t find myself at conflict with you either. It’s just a sensible thing to be discussing, like anything else!

I would say this must be the thing I picked up on as shifting. There’s still currents of tension as there’s still some conflict about what is happening, what to conclude, etc., but it’s not a combative tension anymore. I am glad my drawing attention to it appears to have resolved it!

[claudiu]

@Kub933

And even then it can still continue to appear weird, as with my example of Geoffrey’s response to Leila still being experienced with an ‘affective jab’.

For what it’s worth I didn’t experience that as an affective jab! I think I may have been marveling at how it didn’t come across that way to me.

The starkest example of this for me is Srinath’s very combative responses to me about the global warming topic. I really experienced it as of a toothless tiger, the words were very strident, but I just didn’t feel that “bite” that I usually do when a feeling-being is being combative with me in that way! It was truly wonderful and a great sign.

Am heading out the door, will reply to other points later.