Hi Kuba,
Isn’t is amazing how it all makes sense in hindsight, how important for instance being a friend to yourself really is, to embrace all the unpalatable feelings as ‘me’, so that you can finally be “proceeding as a whole”. This description is so significant, it should be framed and hung on everyone’s wall.
The way ‘I’ operate, being formed of the instinctual passions, is to keep the conflict in motion and the most efficient way to do this is to “split in 2”, or more, apparently opposing fractions. The best way to spoil this ‘survival-of-‘me’-game’ is to embrace any of the pushed-away feelings and dare to embrace each as ‘me’. Then you can proceed “as a whole”. Then something astounding happens, you can chose being ‘me’ as a felicitous feeling instead of the previous unpalatable feeling – intelligence wins and this aspect of the human condition loses.
As you say, it sometimes takes “enormous persistence and ever growing sincerity” but once you have the knack it becomes increasingly easy.
Kuba: So ‘I’ am no longer split, and now ‘I’ am beginning to dare to allow ‘myself’ to be seen at the core of ‘my’ being. It’s fascinating because deep inside there is a cyclone, and ‘I’ am those very swirling passions. And in normal perception it is ‘I’ as those passions/ that cyclone looking ‘out’ and projecting those very dramas which are raging inside / which are ‘me’, out into the world – that is the real world. So in the real world is where ‘I’ play out the dramas which are but an ‘outer’ projection/ manifestation of ‘me’ as a passionate being. And any drama will do as long as attention can be cast away from that cyclone and out into the real world, away from the core of ‘my’ being. So long story short ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being is never seen.
The above was a bit of a laboured point but it is because the way ‘I’ am being seen lately is that it is no longer ‘me’ projecting attention from ‘inside-out’, rather ‘I’ as that cyclone am seen in ‘my’ totality. And then it is seen that ‘I’ (as a passionate entity) can never know rest, as ‘I’ am that very swirling motion of the passions. (link)
Knowing that “‘I’ am that very swirling motion of the passions” there is one more step – having solved the mystery you can now wrest your fascinated (still ‘self’-centric) attention away from “‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being” (like from a thrilling movie) and look around. There is an already existing actual world, existing totally independent of ‘me’ and ‘my’ passions.
Having nothing to hide, you can now allow yourself to be naïve in the world as it is with people as they are. The very reason to discover ‘me’ at the core has always been, as I understood you, to get closer to the actual world, to imitate the actual and ultimately to be naiveté. Now you have the choice.
Cheers Vineeto