Hi Vineeto,
Thank you for your reply and your continued assistance for us all on this forum. When I read your reply yesterday I was thinking about how many various layers of ‘me’ and various diversions set up by ‘me’ had to be addressed before ‘I’ could even begin to admit to this “secret”, and to embrace it as ‘me’. It’s like ‘I’ created a maze for ‘myself’ so that that core of ‘my’ being would avert being seen. And it took enormous persistence and ever growing sincerity to manoeuvre this.
I know that I am proceeding in the correct direction lately because ‘I’ am proceeding as a whole. And I see now back when ‘I’ was experiencing the “unpalatable resistance” it was because ‘I’ was split in 2, and the wall that ‘I’ was running into (which would push ‘me’ back more the harder ‘I’ ran) was also ‘me’.
So ‘I’ am no longer split, and now ‘I’ am beginning to dare to allow ‘myself’ to be seen at the core of ‘my’ being. It’s fascinating because deep inside there is a cyclone, and ‘I’ am those very swirling passions. And in normal perception it is ‘I’ as those passions/that cyclone looking ‘out’ and projecting those very dramas which are raging inside / which are ‘me’, out into the world - that is the real world. So in the real world is where ‘I’ play out the dramas which are but an ‘outer’ projection/manifestation of ‘me’ as a passionate being. And any drama will do as long as attention can be cast away from that cyclone and out into the real world, away from the core of ‘my’ being. So long story short ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being is never seen.
The above was a bit of a laboured point but it is because the way ‘I’ am being seen lately is that it is no longer ‘me’ projecting attention from ‘inside-out’, rather ‘I’ as that cyclone am seen in ‘my’ totality. And then it is seen that ‘I’ (as a passionate entity) can never know rest, as ‘I’ am that very swirling motion of the passions.