Hi Kuba,
This is a great description of naiveté infused with pure intent.
When I looked at your question at the end, I noticed something interesting. When you talk about naiveté you use the first-person pronoun but then when the doer takes command you describe it in the passive voice, as something happening to you as if you had no control over it, such as “these constant reversions away from it”, “this shadowy construct” like a mere skeleton banned into the cupboard. You put ‘it’ at arm’s length and futilely command it to go away (“has to fade”).
Remember the phrase “‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’”? It informs you that everything you are affectively experiencing is ‘you’. How can ‘you’ command ‘you’ to go away? As I said to João the other day –
Vineeto: Especially when you are looking at the feelings which prevent you from enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive now, the phrase “‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’” is well worth remembering as it can inform you when you are keeping your feelings at arm’s length while attempting from a distance to unsuccessfully shuffle them around, or if you really take on board that you are your feelings from which experience you can then, quite easily, decide to be a more felicitous feeling (link).
From this non-dissociative experience, you can also decide to be naïve and and/or remain naïve. All you need to do to maintain this naiveté, is to be aware whenever the slightest dissociation sets in because of some unpleasant feeling, decline to push it away, and instead naïvely embrace it as some issue which still requires to be looked at. When you don’t push it away you can remain naïve, interested, fascinated, and be a friend to yourself without interruption.
Then allowing the flavour of pure intent happens of its own accord.
Cheers Vineeto