João: Hi everyone,
Before anything else I would like to congratulate, and express my appreciation for, all the human beings that created and made available any of the remarkable actualism-related material, including the many detailed expositions in this forum.
My name is João and I am from Portugal.
Growing up and thereafter, I was always interested in the human condition and never consciously interested in spiritualism. Yet some years ago I read Jed McKenna’s books and ended up confused. This eventually led me to search the internet and find Artem Boytsov. I sporadically read most of his texts, and in one of them there was a link to The Actual Freedom Trust website that I bookmarked to read later.
When later finally arrived, I was immediately struck by how specific the writing was, the utter command that it implied over the subject matter, and how incapable I was of grasping certain parts of it. I was hooked. It didn’t take long to discern that what I was reading about was what I had been seeking for most of my life.
This was less than two years ago, so my understanding is decent but not perfect. While familiarizing myself I began to investigate anything that came up, with very beneficial results. But after that initial period of mostly reading and comprehending, for a few months now I sense that it is time for applying the method.
So that is where I am, but I have not been able to do it at all. A part of it appears to be a lack of desire for feeling good (there is an extant tendency towards indifference) and a familiar affective unawareness. Also, there is no remembrance of a PCE, even though I find it reasonable that many were experienced as a child.
Hi João,
Welcome to the Discuss Actualism forum.
I appreciate your gracious and sincere introduction and took particular note when you said you found in the description of an actual freedom something you “I had been seeking for most of my life” . This will give you a solid basis to persist in not only finding it in the writing but more and more experiencing it yourself when you start applying the actualism method. It seems the main obstacles at present is what you call “a lack of desire for feeling good (there is an extant tendency towards indifference)”, which might well be a both a basic resentment as in ‘I didn’t ask to be born’ plus what you have practiced when applying the teachings of those you named above.
So when you are ready to ‘roll up your sleeves’ and decide to aim for feeling good the initial inertia would be one of the habits to pay attention to and replace it with enjoying being alive (however little it may be at the start) and appreciating both your own success in doing so and appreciating the wondrousness of the world around you. I remember when feeling being ‘Vineeto’ did ‘her’ first baby-steps in actualism ‘she’ suddenly noticed that ‘she’ had never really looked at the sky, or the weather, because ‘she’ had been so busy with ‘her’ often sullen, always serious, thoughts and feelings about life.
You may have already found the page on the actualism method with its many informative tooltips and Richard’s selected correspondences on it as well as numerous other topics.
João: Quite a few years ago, I intellectually noticed that the source of most of our problems was in the instincts, but I foolishly concluded that there was no solution. Fortunately, it appears that is not the case. There is no reason now not to confirm it for myself and, ultimately, resolve to end the issue.
I look forward to communicating with you all.
The instinctual passions and the identity formed thereof are at the core of the disease called the human condition. However, at first glance many people assume that by suppressing/ repressing emotions they can solve their problems. Here is something you might find informative in that regard –
RICHARD: Often people who do not read what I have to say with both eyes gain the impression that I am suggesting that people to stop feeling … which I am not. My whole point is to cease ‘being’ – psychologically and psychically self-immolate – which means that the entire psyche itself is extirpated. That is, the biological instinctual package handed out by blind nature is deleted like a computer software programme (but with no ‘Recycle Bin’ to retrieve it from) so that the affective faculty is no more. Then – and only then – are there no feelings … as in a pure consciousness experience (PCE) where, with the self in abeyance, the feelings play no part at all. However, in a PCE the feelings – passion and calenture – can come rushing in, if one is not alert, resulting in the PCE devolving into an altered state of consciousness (ASC) … complete with a super-self. Indeed, this demonstrates that it is impossible for there to be no feelings whilst there is a self – in this case a Self – thus it is the ‘being’ that has to go first … not the feelings.
It is impossible to be a ‘stripped-down’ self – divested of feelings – for ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’. Anyone who attempts this absurdity would wind up being somewhat like what is known in psychiatric terminology as a ‘sociopathic personality’ (popularly known as ‘psychopath’). Such a person still has feelings – ‘cold’, ‘callous’, ‘indifferent’ – and has repressed the others. What the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom is on about is a virtual freedom wherein the ‘good’ feelings – the affectionate and desirable emotions and passions (those that are loving and trusting) are minimised along with the ‘bad’ feelings – the hostile and invidious emotions and passions (those that are hateful and fearful) – so that one is free to be feeling good, feeling happy and harmless and feeling excellent/ perfect for 99% of the time. If one deactivates the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and activates the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (happiness, delight, joie de vivre/ bonhomie, friendliness, amiability and so on) with this freed-up affective energy, in conjunction with sensuousness (delectation, enjoyment, appreciation, relish, zest, gusto and so on), then the ensuing sense of amazement, marvel and wonder can result in apperceptiveness (unmediated perception). If it does not … then one is way ahead of normal human expectations anyway as the aim is to enjoy and appreciate being here now for as much as is possible.
It is a win/ win situation. (Richard, List B, No. 19c, 26 Jun 1999).
Especially when you are looking at the feelings which prevent you from enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive now, the phrase “‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’” is well worth remembering as it can inform you when you are keeping your feelings at arm’s length while attempting from a distance to unsuccessfully shuffle them around, or if you really take on board that you are your feelings from which experience you can then, quite easily, decide to be a more felicitous feeling.
João: PS: To painstakingly produce this introductory post was very worthwhile. Slowly, I realized that the narrative was not according to the facts (to my surprise) and that I was always attempting to spin and to add things that could be used to make me look good (which is probably how, one after the other, the narrative was weaved). It is amazing how much trickery one employs. (link)
I much appreciate your sincerity in noticing and remedying the difference between narrative and facts – so your “painstaking” diligence produced beneficial results right away. Sincerity is the key to becoming more happy and harmless and eventually to be naïve.
João: Hi everyone,
Adam: Enjoyment is pretty straight forward: this moment feels great! That’s awesome! Wow, look at that! This is fun! This feels so pleasurable!
João: Isn’t this appreciation instead of enjoyment? Or at least an acknowledgment of this moment of being alive instead of a relishing in this moment of being alive.
Am I missing something? (link)
What Adam described in the above quote is indeed a mixture of enjoyment and appreciation but there is no need to separate them in your experience of having fun being alive. Appreciation is putting the stamp of approval both on your sensate and your affectively-felicitous experience and thus increase and perpetuate the enjoyment. I would say that at some point in the actualism process enjoyment and appreciation are experientially so closely linked together as to be inseparable. And isn’t that wonderful!
Once you figure out experientially how appreciation exponentially increases and expands on your enjoyment, you can notice how your bottom line (such as indifference) almost automatically up-levels to feeling good, then feeling great, and so on. You can find more on appreciation here but the most important part is to experience it whenever you remember to do so.
Cheers Vineeto