Hi Ed,
I would not put too much weight on the term ‘syndrome’ as it was something that afflicted the first pioneers before the Direct Route was opened by Peter, so there may well be no reason to give the expression of ‘fatal attraction’ a scary connotation. The post to No. 4(List D) I linked to, the “FAS” was a bit of black humour, indicating that I could understand their dilemma because ‘Vineeto’ had had a comparable experience.
Richard used the expression “fatal attraction” only once on the AF list and once on List D (then it was copied as a quote into various correspondence), referring to the quality of ‘his’ pure intent required to succeed. Viz.:
Richard: Incidentally, just before/ just as the PCE starts to wear off, if one unravels (metaphorically) a ‘golden thread’ or ‘clew’, as one is slipping back into the real-world, *an intimate connection is thus established betwixt the pristine-purity of an actual innocence and the near-purity of the sincerity of naiveté*.
At least, that is the way it worked for the identity inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body, all those years ago, inasmuch ‘his’ recall of PCE’s was a naïve remembrance [i.e., rememoration (link) & presentiation (link); see Message № 19775, (Richard, List D, No. 32a, 19 Jun 2015) for context], rather than a cognitive memory, and ‘he’ thus experienced a constant pull, each moment again, into the immaculate perfection of the actual world … and thus away from the contaminated imperfection of the real-world.
Being a ‘fatal attraction’, so to speak, it rendered the entire process virtually effortless”. [emphasis added]. (Richard, List D, No. 13, 21 May 2009)
Ed: I have come to appreciate this fatal attraction and its persistence. It took some time and some more ingredients (developing sincerity) but it has allowed me to stop pushing myself – something which if left up to me I doubt I’d be able to maintain. (As well as taint by doing things my way). That pushing would make the actualism method unenjoyable and would lead to all sorts of internal complaints akin to, “the actualism method is too hard” or “I can’t do this”, etc.
One thing I’ve never attempted to do is repress it, as I’ve always seen it as helpful. But I also consider that there may still be unexpected holdouts that could pop up and replace that enticement with alarm. Or perhaps not. I will be pleased to meet any unexpected hold outs sensibly, rather than nurture their apparent reality.
It is indeed one of the most common obstacles and “hold outs” to get the actualism method up-and-running that one overlooks the term “entirely new” and automatically interprets Richard’s reports and explanations into the familiar parameters of the human condition in general and one’s previous practices and experiences in particular. Hence cleaning the workbench and starting afresh is the most effective way of avoiding misunderstandings and getting swift results.
After you understand that the whole actualism process is about diminishing the ‘self’ – both ‘I’ and ‘me’, controller and soul, good and bad feelings – and that enjoyment and appreciation is the successful way to do that, then you can more easily recognize (and decline) where and why ‘I’ cunningly step in to sabotage the endeavour. Then complaints such as “the actualism method is too hard” or “I can’t do this” are part of the same attempted sabotage and can be explored intelligently.
It’s helpful to remember that ‘I’ am a lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning entity and will invent and engender any trick to prevent one diminishing the scope of ‘my’ dominion. For ‘Vineeto’ it became more and more like a fascinating puzzle or mystery-solving game to discover and dismantle ‘her’ tricks, lies and furphies, which were preventing ‘her’ from feeling (unconditionally) good. Like a chess-game of intelligence vs. human nature.
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Vineeto: Also, you may have overlooked what I said afterwards, to “make good use of this “relating to the irresistible pull” – because being vitally interested in becoming actually free from the human condition is a necessary ingredient for success”. Any lukewarm dabbling in actualism will only result in a lukewarm outcome.
Ed: Thank you, I intend to.
It is now 2026, and I have been at this for 7 years. There has not been a single day where I didn’t think about actualism/ peace on earth in that time.
I do remember (if I may mention it) your hesitation in the early stages to come down to earth and not only “think about actualism”. One could call it the gestation period.
Ed: With an affective awareness up-and-running it segued into a moment-to-moment participation – as in, I’m not just going to think about it, I will also do something about it.
Your description reads as if “an affective awareness up-and-running” did not yet include “participation”. Just to head a possible misunderstanding at the pass, the actualist affective awareness, which Richard emphasises wherever he explains the actualism method, is far more than sitting on the sidelines watching one’s thoughts and emotions go by – the affective awareness is employed for the sole purpose of taking action whenever one’s mood dips below feeling good and needs attention. I posted something on this very topic a few days ago (Kuba14, 4 June 2026).
With most people having had some previous experience in various forms of buddhistic practice it may well be of use to clear any remnants of one’s ‘workbench’ to freshly understand the actualist usage of affective awareness –
Richard: The more one enjoys and appreciates being just here right now – to the point of excellence being the norm – the greater the likelihood of a PCE happening … a grim and/or glum person has no chance whatsoever of allowing the magical event, which indubitably shows where everyone has being going awry, to occur. Plus any analysing and/or psychologising and/or philosophising whilst one is in the grip of debilitating feelings usually does not achieve much (other than spiralling around and around in varying degrees of despair and despondency or whatever) anyway[1].
The wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition is marked by enjoyment and appreciation – the sheer delight of being as happy and harmless as is humanly possible whilst remaining a ‘self’ – and the slightest diminishment of such felicity/ innocuity is a warning signal (a flashing red light as it were) that one has inadvertently wandered off the way. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive)
Footnote:
[1]What the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago would do is first get back to feeling good and then, and only then, suss out where, when, how, why – and what for – feeling bad happened as experience had shown ‘him’ that it was counter-productive to do otherwise.
What ‘he’ always did however, as it was often tempting to just get on with life then, was to examine what it was all about within half-an-hour of getting back to feeling good (while the memory was still fresh) even if it meant sometimes falling back into feeling bad by doing so … else it would crop up again sooner or later.
Nothing, but nothing, can be swept under the carpet. (Richard, AF List, No. 68c, 31 May 2005).
Can you see how the very activity of affective awareness includes your active participation else it be a variation on the ‘noting’ technique of buddhistic flavour? I highly recommend Richard’s above quoted article for repeated reading, with particular attention to the multiple explanatory tooltips.
Ed: It’s my over-arching life goal. I am so glad to have had the website as I could not have done this on my own, and there is still more to come! (link)
I appreciate you can recognize this and fully agree – ‘Vineeto’ knew full well ‘she’ couldn’t have done it on ‘her’ own either. Fascinatingly enough, whenever ‘she’ read Richard’s writing again, ‘she’ discovered more and more of what had previously been overlooked, misunderstood or forgotten. Even today, when I read the mailing list archives for the pleasure it is, I am marvelling at the level of masterly skill, detail, clarity and scope of comprehensive perception.
As you say, there is still lots more to come and it gets more and more fun along the way.
Cheers Vineeto