Kuba: Ah and now I can tell what was “missing” yesterday, the thing that is still to come, why it was not actual freedom yet – it is the stillness.
I have been experiencing it more and more, becoming accustomed to it. Finally I understood experientially what Richard meant when he wrote “I am the utter stillness of this body’s apperceptive awareness” – that is exactly what it is like.
I experienced it the other day when I was eating dinner, I don’t think I can add any more to Richard’s description.
So yes there is this perfect and pure jewel of unadulterated delight, that is what this world and this body is and yet there is still something else to come, which is the stillness. It seems the stillness is experienced through that “existential sense”, as in it is yet another “layer” that becomes apparent when ‘I’ take ‘my’ leave for good. (link)
Hi Kuba,
Yes, this is when it happens –
Vineeto: I heard myself saying to Richard that ‘We’ve got all the time in the world’ and when I contemplated on the sentence that had just slipped out, time suddenly stood still.
I stopped in mid-sentence and the ensuing silence caught the attention of my two companions.
It was all over, in an instant. (Vineeto, BecomingFree).
Ha, there will be no opportunity to ‘test’ if that stillness is safe, it is irrevocable. 
This stillness which is, as you say “experienced through that “existential sense”, as in it is yet another “layer” that becomes apparent when ‘I’ take ‘my’ leave for good”. This stillness is “the essential character of the infinitude of the universe”, the be all and end all of everything apparent … “the intrinsic basis of everything. It is this universe at its genesis. It is not, as it might commonly be supposed, at the centre of everything … there is no centre here. This stillness, which is everywhere all at once, is the be all and end all of life itself. I am the universe experiencing itself as a sensate, reflective human being.” (Richard’s Journal, Article Twenty-Five)
Every time I read this piece I am touched by the ever-freshness of the words and the experience of it; it is simply magnificent.
This is your destiny. What utter delight!
Cheers Vineeto