Ah and now I can tell what was “missing” yesterday, the thing that is still to come, why it was not actual freedom yet - it is the stillness.
I have been experiencing it more and more, becoming accustomed to it. Finally I understood experientially what Richard meant when he wrote “I am the utter stillness of this body’s apperceptive awareness” - that is exactly what it is like.
I experienced it the other day when I was eating dinner, I don’t think I can add any more to Richard’s description.
So yes there is this perfect and pure jewel of unadulterated delight, that is what this world and this body is and yet there is still something else to come, which is the stillness. It seems the stillness is experienced through that “existential sense”, as in it is yet another “layer” that becomes apparent when ‘I’ take ‘my’ leave for good.