Vineeto: So now, that you know the secret – and have it confirmed by those who have left their ‘self’ behind – how long are you planning to hold out in no-man’s land against the overwhelming evidence, not to mention already hearing “the bells of joyous anticipation and celebration ringing”?
Kuba: Haha well that is precisely on point, ‘I’ am just holding out in no man’s land at this point
Driving to work last night I thought exactly that, I found ‘myself’ so far away from ‘home’, a bit like those sci-fi movies where the characters leave for some far away planet, but I had not landed in terra Actualis yet either.
The fear or weirdness didn’t play much part though, it was more like “wow I have not been this far out yet”. For the first time there was this organic courage to proceed, it was thrilling. Because now having abandoned ‘humanity’ there was ‘no-one’ to go back to and ‘no-one’ to stop ‘me’ proceeding.
So then ‘I’ was completely on ‘my’ own but not alone, it was quite incredible because it was as if I had finally located some semblance of individuality/ autonomy. I was happy to stand on my own two feet and to proceed on my own, finally I was proceeding like a pioneer!
I thought about the fact that there are currently only a dozen or so people on this planet that live in this place where I am proceeding, how odd! This new land is rather unpopulated so far
But those individuals living there, they are exactly that – individuals. It is amazing to begin to locate a genuine individuality. I thought about you Vineeto that you actually do exist in this place where I am proceeding, where you are – “as if living naked in the wilderness, utterly on my own and undeniably undefined by either people or events”.
I thought how you have been inviting us to join the party. That there is nothing to lose but ‘my’ shackles, this makes a lot more sense now experientially, it seems very close indeed – as Richard wrote “so close as to be already here”. (link)
Hi Kuba,
“So close as to be already here” … it looks like you are now savouring the ever-increasing splendour of ‘your’ approaching “blaze of glory” (Mailing List 'AF' Respondent No. 7 I have remarked before), moment by moment, hesitating only to savour it even more for all it’s worth.
Here is what I am reminded of –
Peter: Some time in the evening of a day of delightfully relaxed reminiscings, reflections and musings, I leaned forward wondering what it was like for Richard living in the actual world of people, things and events as distinct from living in a self-created illusionary bubble of one’s own making. Wondering about the nature of his experiencing, I suddenly became aware of a quite extraordinary sweetness – a sweetness that was palpable rather than feeling based. I heard the words ‘This is not only for me, this is for everybody’ as I was literally being bathed in this sweetness –>([R] tool tip)
–>([R] tool tip) Richard: (…) Accordingly, then, at the moment when Peter leaned forward, wondering as he did as to my experience of the actual, wondering as to the very nature of the actual, the brilliance of the atmospheric lighting fluctuated (as if household lighting was increasing/decreasing via a dimmer switch being turned up and down to a regular pulse) which alerted me to his imminence; as he came ever closer, experientially, the up-and-down brilliance fluctuation segued into a side-to-side resonance of atmospheric timbre (as if pulsing back-and-forth from the walls of a hollowed circular space) and acquainted me of his immanence; as he reported becoming aware of a quite extraordinary sweetness his features were suffused with a radiant glow (not dissimilar to a sunburnt face ruddy with gleaming epidermal heat); as he advised of being literally bathed in that palpable sweetness his shining face shimmered with bands of iridescent pinks and mauves, subtly chasing each other upward from bottom to top, which more than amply conveyed the radical range and extent of his experiencing; as he had profound intimation of words portraying the philanthropic nature of altruistic ‘self’-sacrifice he expressed how sweet ‘his’ ending was to be; he spoke with soft intensity of how ‘he’ would go gladly into a sweetness of such all-consuming magnitude, of how sweetful a demise it was such that no human could ever have possibly wished for; of how there was no (expected) fear so vast as to best be called dread whatsoever; of how there was no darkness, no blackness, no abyss, no whatever, at all but, instead, only this incredible all-encompassing sweetness to go blessedly (my word not his) into oblivion with.
Then he gently withdrew from where he was separated only by the flimsiest of films from my actual presence, leisurely departed from those environs immediately in the surrounds of his bubble of actuality, gradually left me on my own again in this actual world; his features gently reverted to normal, his face leisurely took on its typical mien, gradually leaving me so as to once again be the man known to me so well; we chatted, easily, readily, about the significance of this (magical) episode like the two mates we unquestionably were; we spoke of our first meeting, a dozen or so years ago, where the moment he stepped out into the backyard patio, in the early evening of that night, there had been an instant recognition (of fate and destiny intertwined); we reminisced of how we had conversed about matters profound until two in the morning yet all he could recall was me saying how everyone had it all 180 degrees wrong; and of how my recollection was of him saying how people like him relied upon people like me to provide a road-map to the pristine paradise this verdant and azure planet indubitably is. (…)
Peter: This all-consuming experience of sweetness lasted perhaps less that a minute but this precursor left me with the utter confidence to proceed further into the actual world – indeed it was so seductive an experience that I was literally compelled to investigate further. Perhaps an hour or two later in an increasingly intimate ambience between us, I moved over to sit beside Richard on the couch as I wanted to be closer to him rather than talk over the coffee table that separated the two couches.
I happened to remember that Richard had often said that he had been on his own in the actual world (for 17 years to date) and that he would like someone else to join him in the actual world and not for his sake but to prove that he was not a freak-of-nature, as it were, but as definitive proof that global peace and harmony amongst human beings was indeed possible in that an individual actual freedom from malice and sorrow was a repeatable occurrence.
As I remembered where Richard was, I reached out and touched the side of his actual face with my fingers. As I tenderly stroked it, I ‘saw’ him as Robinson Crusoe – on his own but not lonely – on a tropical desert island, playfully content and self-sufficient, but ever casting an eye out lest a playmate hove in to view over the horizon.
In that moment I knew that Richard’s first playmate in the actual world of sensate delight would be a male best-mate playmate and that female playmates would then follow soon after. –>([R] tool tip)
–>([R] tool tip) Richard: (…) as Peter recalled me speaking often of being on my own for these last seventeen years, but never alone (let alone lonely) due to an actual intimacy, the fluctuations in atmospheric brilliance recommenced; as he remembered me speaking of looking to have somebody join me, here, as a demonstrative replication of my condition (thus no longer, arguably, a ‘freak of nature’), with the consequent probability of then ushering in a global peace and harmony, the up-and-down brilliance fluctuation segued in a familiar way into the side-to-side resonance of atmospheric timbre; just then, as he remembered how to find me, his hand came through that flimsiest of films (which completely enclosed and isolated his bubble of actuality from the real-world reality) and actually stroked the left-side of my face with the most perfect touch; it was a caress of absolute perfection such as could only occur when this particular feeling ‘being’, tenderly feeling the utmost caring possible per favour being the near-innocence of naiveté personified, was thus granted privileged access to slip part of their host body through a compliantly temporaneous rent in their veil.
Peter: After this, the sweet relaxed atmosphere that I experienced between us continued and became all-consuming as the “outside world” faded more and more in the background so as to completely disappear, as did the experience of time moving as I became more and more totally absorbed in the conversation and events unfolding, as it were. (The conclusion of this cliff-hanger including delightful tool tips in original). (Long Awaited Announcement)
Cheers Vineeto