Kuba: This seems this is exactly what I was trying to get at when I wrote about “rising to the challenge of being here as the universe’s experience of itself”, except that instead of rising to the challenge ‘I’ first tried to do some problem-solving to prove to ‘myself’ that it is safe to do so.
Richard: … What ‘I’ do, voluntarily and intentionally (cheerfully and blessedly), is press the button which precipitates a, oft-times alarming but always thrilling, momentum which will result in ‘my’ irrevocable ‘self’-immolation in toto. What one does is that one dedicates oneself to the challenge of being just here, right now, as the universe’s experience of itself … peace-on-earth is the inevitable result because it is already always existing (‘I’ was merely standing in the way of it being apparent). [Emphasis added]. (Richard, Abditorium, Altruism)
Kuba: This makes sense now more than ever before, the ‘process’ which Richard mentions is the apperceptive seeing which ends ‘me’. So ‘I’ (the last piece of pizza) do not do it, rather by rising to the challenge of being here as the universes experience of itself ‘I’ invite this ‘process’ to happen to ‘me’.
What seems to be stopping ‘me’ from initiating this ‘process’ is this “feeling rudely raw about the prospect of being here now”, this is what ‘I’ was trying to solve by those prior deliberations.
Hi Kuba,
I would say it is the other way round – this ‘process’ has already been initiated and therefore you are “feeling rudely raw about the prospect of being here now” and that you want to remove/ avoid the discomfort “by those prior deliberations” is an instinctual escape reaction, which is why Richard called it “a, oft-times alarming but always thrilling, momentum”.
It’s too late to reconsider now. Hence my suggestion to avoid doing something but rather allow it to happen, let pure intent take its course. Richard once said that the human condition is weird, and therefore getting out of it is weird too.
Kuba: So this is exactly how ‘I’ experienced it working a hen do yesterday, the initial social identity barrier was removed but underneath it was exactly that – “feeling rudely raw about the prospect of being here now”. And this feeling it seems it cannot be reduced anymore, it is that very core of ‘me’. At times yesterday this feeling did indeed subside and I found myself here more and more, and completely at ease.
So even though the impression was that “this feeling it seems it cannot be reduced anymore” it can nevertheless “subside and I found myself here more and more, and completely at ease”. It’s like with all intense feelings, once you stop objecting to it, it will diminish and disappear.
Nice.
Kuba: So it seems it is about proceeding in this direction, of experientially sussing out how to rise to this challenge. The way ‘I’ experience it is that proceeding in this direction it is as if ‘I’ am forgetting something very important, ‘I’ am screaming to go back to this thing that is apparently critical for ‘my’ safety. It’s like that feeling of “oh shit I left the oven on” when one leaves the house, amplified x10 It’s urging ‘me’ to go back, to check one more time that all is safe. But of course ‘I’ will do that forever hence the circling. So ‘I’ cannot wait until the waters are completely calm before proceeding in this direction, then it would never happen. (link)
Yes, this is the very “oft-times alarming but always thrilling, momentum” in action, which Richard talks about – which means everything is going well. Don’t let ‘me’ interfere by trying to “go back, to check one more time that all is safe” or become impatient that “the waters are” not “completely calm”. Let it happen, don’t turn back. Enjoy the thrilling ride. If it was easy everyone would have done it already.
Richard: To put it bluntly: ‘you’ in ‘your’ totality, who are but a passionate illusion, must die a dramatic illusory death commensurate to ‘your’ pernicious existence. The drama must be played out to the end … there are no short-cuts here. The doorway to an actual freedom has the word ‘extinction’ written on it. This extinction is irrevocable, which eliminates the psyche itself. When this is all over there will be no ‘being’ at all. Thus when ‘I’ willingly self-immolate – psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for oneself and all humankind … for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. (Richard, List B, No. 13, 26 May 1999)
Once you give up all resistance then even the panicky urge to go back will simmer down and disappear.
This is not a little thing you are doing/ letting it happen. It is all really wonderful, and we are all graciously invited to watch every moment of your grand adventure. Thank you for this privilege.
With much joy and appreciation
Vineeto