Kub933's Journal

Shashank: A few days back while reading Vineeto mentioning about fraud in another post, I was trying to uncover what is this fraud about? For example if someone were to apply for a job without the necessary skills and claiming to have those skills, that would be a fraud about their skillset.
I’m not able to understand why is the identity a fraud…Is it because it doesn’t exist while only the actual body exists…so the fraud is about it’s existence ?

Hi Shashank,

You know from your own experience that there is no identity to be found when you are having a PCE. ‘You’ are not actual, but nevertheless very real, backed up by strong passions and deep feelings. This is not just ‘a belief’ that you can abandon because it seems like a good idea. This instinctual-emotional identity is your whole ‘being’ – and yet from the actual perspective, the one you have during a PCE, it is clearly not there at all.

Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ experienced this contradiction very strongly after several years of actualism and expressed this by naming this ‘sometimes-there-sometimes-not-there’ ‘being’ a fraud, an imposter – just to make the point clear that ‘it’, ‘me’ is not actual and deserves no support from my side (whenever sincere intent/pure intent are operating and guiding ‘her’ thoughts and actions). This clear labelling had an impact on the feeling-being because eventually feeling-being ‘Vineeto’ felt more and more that ‘she’ was indeed redundant, in fact rotten, and it was a shame and somewhat unbelievable ‘she’ was still holding onto ‘her’ existence. And this in turn brought to the surface the originally-dormant yearning for oblivion in the feeling-being itself – which all supported the aim of becoming actually free as soon as possible.

Shashank: Haha yes this kind of trickery I’ve often found and it’s good to catch it – It’s others not me !

Kub933: What it is, is a completely rotten to the core creation, what it presents itself to be is ‘acting for the benefit of all’.

Yes, this makes sense…so it’s more of a Social-Instinctual thing…I was thinking if there is a core fraud at the level of the instinctual being itself.

“This kind of trickery” is certainly good to pay attention to and catch – it is just one of the whole array of tools ‘I’ have to fervently defend ‘my’ existence. Once you done it a few times, you can see the game, the fun sport in it, to expose each trick for what it is – ‘me’ defending the indefensible – and you, when intelligence and awareness are operating, getting the upper hand and consequently be more happy and more considerate and more enjoying life.

Remember though, it’s not “more of a Social-Instinctual thing” – phrasing/seeing it thisaway is a trick of dissociation in action – it’s you, the instinctually driven and socially conditioned identity you are referring to, and yes, this is “a core fraud” because not a skerrick of ‘you’ does exist in actuality.

Richard compared ‘being’ to a whirlpool of air/water –

“In that crystal-clear fully-lucid hypnopompic state ‘I’ was able to penetrate deeply into ‘myself’ at the core of ‘my’ being (which is ‘being’ itself) – or, rather, the penetration took place via ‘my’ full acquiescence – and there, in the centre of all the feelings swirling around, the essence of who ‘I’ am lay gorgeously exposed … not all that unlike a beautiful rosy pearl, nestled coyly amidst the delicate fleshy tissue of its host, in its shimmering nacreous shell.
Except that the essence of who ‘I’ am was a void (and not a ‘thing’ like a pearl is) so the analogy of the void at the centre of whirlpool of water – which is the whirling water in motion – is more apt (albeit not conveying the ethereal radiant beauty of the rosy pearl analogy).
Or, in other words, the essence of who ‘I’ am is akin to the calm, still centre of a swirling cyclone/ hurricane/ typhoon.
The swirling air/whirling water is, of course, all the feelings – all of the emotions/ passions – which ‘I’ am comprised of (as in ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’).” (List D, 11a)

Cheers Vineeto

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