We would indeed like to imagine that.
It can be useful, for sure. Our mother’s have the idea of us, often, but not always.
What if everyone forgot?
What special thing is this idea around? What is imprinted in their hearts?
It’s how we keep track of what to do. What’s right? What’s wrong? What should I be doing right now? I check in with the group (mentally or via communication) to find out
It goes as deep as I go
It’s so weird. Two worlds. ‘I’ am swimming in this fear world
Who is swimming in what?
‘Me’ in ‘reality’/‘Reality’
Isn’t that in itself kinda curious!
There is this me, swimming in what I am. Sorta strange heh?
solipsistic, self-obsessed
Circles of fear
Right. Wheels within wheels.
What would happen if they stopped?
I am free to chat if you like.
I can’t right now, maybe tomorrow or something though
I’m following the thread
Roger that.
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The ultimate condition
experiencing the universe directly
It doesn’t matter if I can’t explain it to anyone else, it’s worth doing
Why does it feel wrong to leave?
The group doesn’t approve of leaving
So it’s not the ‘right’ thing to do
Only fear
That’s all I am
I think that if I leave the group I’ll be lonely, but that’s just a fear. More ‘Me.’
Selfish fear.
It has to happen this way
–
Wanting to be righteous
I want to save everyone and myself
I want to be celebrated, loved. That’s the psychic reward
Good feelings.
Gap remains
What is that gap?
–
I’m the only one that can get me, get humanity out of this mess
It’s something I do for myself and for everyone
The end of me
I have to see that it’s necessary
Closing the gap
Ending me
It’s about fear
Why do I think I need to exist?
What am I protecting?
What is being accomplished?
Protecting ‘me’
‘me’ protecting ‘me’
Feeling bad so I don’t have to feel bad
Benevolence
Everyone is so scared
A life of desperate intensity & then death
How is the universe benevolent? It’s not something ‘I’ understand
Good & bad
and then benevolence
Peace
I see what out-from-control is now
It’s ‘Me’ being benevolent & benign
Near-actual caring
“A caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster”
“I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting”
It’s so big
What can I do to close the gap?
Me being benevolent to myself is the same as being benevolent to everyone
It’s all of humanity
Of course we play this foolish game
They don’t know
I haven’t known
–
Can I enter out-from-control now?
I’m not sure. I can try
If I get kicked out I know how to re-enter now
It’s fine either way, then
When I ‘check in’ with humanity there’s a burst of fear
More of the same
I can abstain
This is the part where it feels taboo
It’s not good to stay in humanity. I know what humanity is
The taboo is wrong
It’s backwards
That’s the mistake the buddhas & the bodhisattvas made
This peace is here all the time
It just means letting go of everything else I’ve ever wanted
Desire is still a gap
Luminous benevolence
I really am reveling in my trashy glory
This funny man that I am
He’s gotten this far, pretty good!
Crossing an infinite of imaginary distance
Fool, fool, fool
Let’s go
Ah, this fool
This old man with his collection of things
This is the end of everything
Is that what I want?
Self like an electric shock, a cattle prod
Replacing sadness with sincerity
Oh, this suffering
Head spinning a bit
Something is happening
Who is this now?
I’m doing the right thing, finally. Right by ‘Me’
I have my Father’s permission, finally
My Mother’s permission
Bags are packed
Off to never-never land
I’m so amused at myself
Being ‘someone’ is very seductive
For now I can be a happy & harmless someone
All my ‘me’s’ have to be pointed the same direction
Excellent guitar riff.
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ain’t that the truth
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I’ve had a bit too much of a tendency for my practice to be focused on Richard’s words, so I took a minute to write down every characteristic I could remember from my own PCEs:
- A sense of larger ‘context’
- Enjoyment
- Perfect clarity of what’s happening
- No fear of anyone or anything
- A sense of being able to ‘go anywhere, do anything’
- Seeing many more possibilities than I normally consider
- Past/self wiped clean
- Freedom
- “There isn’t any problem”
- Great awareness of space
- Sensory clarity
- Loss of time
- Loss of ‘location’
- Being at home on the earth
- Don’t have to do anything
- Significance of life
- Valuing life in all its expressions
- bodily ease, no shortage of energy
- issues very obvious where they had been confusing
- paramountcy of the physical
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“Oh, Henry? Isn’t that that guy that’s super blithe?”
This resonates. A lot of the items from your list appeared in my most outstanding PCE some 20 years ago now. No drugs. Just a rainy day walking in the city. This all occurred before I came across actualism.
- A sense of larger ‘context’
The grand scheme of it all was there.
- Enjoyment
There was such an astounding and absolutely infectious sense of pure, untainted joy.
- Perfect clarity of what’s happening
This was an outstanding feature that distinguished this state from everything else I’d experienced. Absolute clarity, no confusion. A perfect observation and understanding of the mechanisms of my brain. Later when coming across Richard’s description that it’s like “having eyes in the back of one’s head” or a “360 degree awareness,” there was immediate recollection of that clarity into the operations of my brain.
- No fear of anyone or anything
Yes. All fear - gone.
- A sense of being able to ‘go anywhere, do anything’
This. 100 percent. This was another outstanding feature. I recall looking around and thinking exactly that. “I can go anywhere, do anything.” The whole city turned into one giant playground.
- Seeing many more possibilities than I normally consider
There seemed to be an ability to quickly see that optimal way of acting/interacting in all situations.
- Past/self wiped clean
Gone.
- Freedom
Immense.
- “There isn’t any problem”
None. The state itself was the solution.
- Great awareness of space
Reminiscent of that vast open playground sensation.
- Sensory clarity
Sparkling, vivid, brilliant. The whole world was as if glittering. Vibrating. Coming across Richard’s description of the actual as “matter not being passive” there was immediate recognition there.
- Loss of time
This did not feature for me.
- Loss of ‘location’
I don’t recall this feature.
- Being at home on the earth
Yes, goes back to the lack of fear. Every event, every place, every person, seemed open and welcoming.
- Don’t have to do anything
No obligations. Just freedom.
- Significance of life
Every speck was dripping with significance and meaning.
- Valuing life in all its expressions
All things animate and inanimate were of great value and significance.
- bodily ease, no shortage of energy
Immense energy, immense fluidity.
- issues very obvious where they had been confusing
The fluid, easy operation of the brain was very noticeable. So easy to know what the next and best step was.
- paramountcy of the physical
Total immersion in this shining, moving, physical world.
I had tried to reproduce this experience the next day, after it had worn off, and could never manage to.
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Being blithe is the fucking shit, highly recommend
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