That’s useful, I can look at what I’m confident in and what I want to explore to develop more confidence of what ‘the situation’ is.
Something I’ve been using lately is that even using the framework of everything that love desires, the two human bodies are still happening in the actual world… there’s still a practical aspect of “ok great, that’s what I want, now how to get there?” which has supplied me with a fascination to figure it out. And then having Richard’s Handy Invention , it doesn’t take long to figure out that being happy, becoming free, compliments everything I’m really trying to accomplish here (with love).
Just now I was reading more about love on the AFT, and it was such a reminder of the (many) downsides of love… all of which I’ve experienced in the past, and many of which I’ve experienced even this weekend. All the evidence is there.
" Peter: How is it that love promises so much and yet delivers so little and what it does deliver is fleeting, conditional, demanding, demeaning, consuming, neurotic and erratic? How come it has a ‘down-side’ of dependency, possessiveness, jealousy and when love is spurned can turn to hatred and violence? And yet this feeling is perennially upheld as the only hope humans have to end suffering and violence on the planet – as in ‘All you need is love’ And yet all the love songs and stories are tales of heartbreak and sorrow, failure and despair, depression and suicide?
The feeling of love, or the spiritual version of divine love, has been the direct cause of so many violent crimes of passion, murder and warfare that it requires enormous blind faith to believe it could hold the solution to ending suffering and violence. To evoke, enhance and trumpet one segment of the instinctual passions in order to seek a solution to problems that result from the full package only perpetuates the seemingly endless cycles of the malice and sorrow inherent within the Human Condition."
We talked about this with all emotions on our trip. Indulging in an emotion is to move away from AF. The good news is twofold: Choosing to not indulge in an emotion can be done at any time whether it’s love or anything else, whether the actual trigger is present or not. Allowing yourself a happy and harmless experience of this ongoing moment is a choice towards AF.
As far as good feelings towards other people goes, they are as inevitable as bad feelings. And can be treated the same way. We wouldn’t want to give up work because a couple of co-workers are asshats. And we wouldn’t want to give up a companion who laughs a lot and can carry a conversation well because we are feeling good feelings. We just opt out because those feelings; the animosity and the loving, are taking us away from being happy and harmless in this ongoing moment. Similarly we don’t have to pin all our hopes, social and sexual, on one person and feel the immense weight of that decision. We can both opt out of that vortex while considering the immediate future with that person as a happy and harmless person eaatmoba.
That said. It will be incredibly hard for you to opt out. You have spent the last several years pining for a woman to complete you (while also trying to minimize said pining). So expect a shit ton of energy to come your way now that it may finally be here. IOW, you built it up so now you have to live in it. An apt analogy for a guy who is building his own cabin!
Those things are so incredibly simple. If you were taking advantage of their immediate availability you wouldn’t be focused on attaining your hopes and trying to get rid of resentments in the first place
A big theme for me for a long time has been social desires, basically waiting til something social was happening before I’d allow myself to have a good time
I had a party at my place last week and saw how stark the contrast was, how much fun I was having being around people compared with when I was by myself, when I’d often have a narrative of ‘alone/lonely’ going. Being social ‘worked!’
So I’ve had my eye on it a bit more this week.
Having a PCE the other day helped, and I’ve been overall having more flashes of perfection which have added to my confidence.
I realized last night that having an appreciation for my own company, and without anyone else to interact with an appreciation for the content of my own thoughts & observations did the trick
Went out by myself to a bar to grab some food… usually a certain recipe for lonely feelings, but I had a lovely time. Read a bit, thought about some stuff, people-watched, and went home
I have the opportunity to surpass the Buddha and Christ, and the only caveat is that only 7 other people will be able to understand the significance of that
, it doesn’t take long to figure out that being happy, becoming free, compliments everything I’m really trying to accomplish here (with love).
