Henry: Hi Vineeto and Claudiu, thank you for the thoughtful & thorough replies. They have given me a lot to think about.
I went through a whirlwind of emotion upon reading, and afterward went on a long hike contemplating both the content of your replies and my reaction. My first goal was to get back to feeling good so I could consider the implications of both with a clear head.
It immediately was obvious that the strength of such a reaction could only come from a feeling of defensiveness and of social fear.
The social fear by itself made it clear that I have not been as sincere as I had believed or wished myself to be. Everything was couched in protecting myself in the eyes of ‘my’ ‘tribe.’ I could see how my fears of social rejection were preventing me from considering all possibilities, or for fact-checking the views and beliefs that I had been raised and educated in. I had no safe forum within that tribe to discuss these matters in, immediately demonstrating that my entire liberal-arts based education was nothing but a sham.
I can’t overstate how much this shook me.
With this realization it quickly became apparent that I was nothing but a fraud playing a song-and-dance for social points. Thank you Vineeto for recently pointing out the silliness of blaming oneself for the whole mess, because I was quickly able to move past that and into what I found to be a remarkable naivete. I feel as if I have just been born fresh into a world that I don’t know much about.
I want to thank you both again for the thoughtfulness of your posts as well as for the overall investigations and progress in actualism that they reflect. It’s a remarkable thing that is being done.
The cognitive dissonance observation in particular I found very useful to reflect on, as it demonstrates to a considerable degree why people reject observations and people that don’t match their beliefs. This has an incredible social power, and I am in awe that as a species and as individuals we have arrived at a place that we can move past those strong reactions. In fact my entire reactions described above were a reflection of cognitive dissonance. There is a better way.
Hi Henry,
You are very welcome, I am delighted to read your message and your feedback. I instantly noticed the honesty and directness of your writing without any of the ‘at-arms-length’ qualities of your previous posts. It can be quite a shock to suddenly look at the world afresh with more naïve eyes. It is indeed “a remarkable thing that is being done” . You write –
Henry: “I feel as if I have just been born fresh into a world that I don’t know much about.”
It is wonderful you found “a remarkable naivete” which will greatly enhance your experience of being alive and your success of discovering how ‘you’ tick. I took particular notice that naiveté appeared as soon as you declined blaming yourself – blaming oneself is such a simple mechanism of ‘self’-protection and so revealing and liberating when this protective plaster is removed! With naiveté it is much more fun to be alive and makes the whole actualism enterprise an exciting adventure rather than a chore.
There comes a point in every sincere actualist’s life what feeling being ‘Vineeto’ reported after the first few weeks of listening to what Richard reported, and you might be able to relate to that. Richard described it to Alan in a very humorous way (so don’t take the first paragraph personally 
) –
Richard to Alan: As your back-to-front discombobulation may very well be indicative of a ‘more cunning than the norm’ cozener – perhaps even of such an upside-down vulpecular callidity as to be instinctually impelled into the sliest casuistry only ever dreamed of by a normal knavishness (stopping short of being so perfidiously jesuitical as to be positively machiavellian however) – such tergiversation reminds me of what feeling-being ‘Vineeto’ reported after the first few weeks of listening to me/ reading my words.
Speaking in regards to the effects any and all attempts to fit this totally new paradigm into ‘her’ existing mindset were having, ‘she’ explained the process as being … (1.) as if ‘her’ brain was being turned upside-down … and how (2.) ‘she’ was having to relearn how to think all over again.
Could it be a stage you have skipped, perchance, upon having jumped the gun? (Richard, List D, Alan, 29 Feb 2016).
You are certainly on the right track, and the fact that this new information shook you out of a “feeling of defensiveness and of social fear”, reminiscent for you to a cognitive dissonance-like mindset, straight into a “remarkable naiveté”, means that the ground was well prepared to have that happen. You can pat yourself on the back for a transition well done.
Cheers Vineeto