Journal de Henry

The power fantasy is an attempt to avoid discomfort / suffering by controlling people and outcomes.

It is a fantasy because they cannot be controlled. It is a big universe, and people will resist control in any case.

This is a part of the giving up on ‘humanity’ which @Kub933 has recently been discussing. I want to control as a means of remaining within humanity / ‘making peace with humanity.’

That aspect is impossible as long as people remain as they are.

It’s a dead end trying to connect with people on a psychic level, but I can be as intimate as possible with them, reaching toward near-actual caring.

Considering Grace’s scale of togetherness-closeness-sweetness-richness-magicality, I can see that I have some wall up preventing intimacy. This was placed defensively at some stage.