Thank you for the responses @Kub933 @Vineeto @claudiu, I have taken them to heart. Especially this:
I was initially a bit taken aback, but it became clear that that very dynamic was at work in my life. Upon reflection, I could see it was defensive in nature and ultimately served to sustain insecurities.
Since exploring those aspects, things have been ‘coming unstuck,’ and as of yesterday afternoon a ‘christmastime atmosphere’ has become predominant. There is a glow, a sense of magicality, a delight wherever my attention wanders.
There is a question of where there is love at play, as I have been getting some attention back from a girl I’m interested in, but I’m paying close attention. Experience will inform. In the meantime, enjoying this atmosphere, which I do recognize from PCEs. A sensation of circling the drain.