12|22|22
As a follow up to this post, I went on a first date last night with a new girl and had a really excellent time.
I was purposely looking out for the ‘making a fool of myself out of nervousness’ issue from before, and before the date I could see nervousness setting in and made an effort to figure it out minutes before she showed up.
Luckily I remembered something that had worked for me a few weeks ago when I was meeting with my ex, which was turning the nervousness into excitement for it to go well. It took just a few seconds to see it this way, and then she was there.
The date itself was delightful, she is very intelligent and it didn’t take long to get into interesting topics such as the inability of systems of law to create peace in the world. I found her sensible, and she was understanding what I had to say straightforwardly, which is not a common experience for me with these topics.
Most importantly, we both had a vibe of delight & mutual interest for the entire date - there were only a couple of moments of nervousness or hesitation on either of our parts, and last night and today I took the chance to look at them a bit closer - cleaning up loose ends.
I find myself in the familiar position of being tempted to fall in love. However, I have also experienced enough of actualist morality to watch out for ‘keeping her at a distance’ as a way to avoid love. The way forward is delight - at having met such a delightful person, at having done well at my intentions for the date, and for being in this position in general.
There is a subtle line between delight and love and gratitude, and for most people they’re all muddled together. Having an interesting time sussing between them, with an especial eye to let the delight run unbridled.
Having the time of my life.