João's introduction

[bn.j]

Hi everyone,

Before anything else I would like to congratulate, and express my appreciation for, all the human beings that created and made available any of the remarkable actualism-related material, including the many detailed expositions in this forum.

My name is João and I am from Portugal.

Growing up and thereafter, I was always interested in the human condition and never consciously interested in spiritualism. Yet some years ago I read Jed McKenna’s books and ended up confused. This eventually led me to search the internet and find Artem Boytsov. I sporadically read most of his texts, and in one of them there was a link to The Actual Freedom Trust website that I bookmarked to read later.

When later finally arrived, I was immediately struck by how specific the writing was, the utter command that it implied over the subject matter, and how incapable I was of grasping certain parts of it. I was hooked. It didn’t take long to discern that what I was reading about was what I had been seeking for most of my life.

This was less than two years ago, so my understanding is decent but not perfect. While familiarizing myself I began to investigate anything that came up, with very beneficial results. But after that initial period of mostly reading and comprehending, for a few months now I sense that it is time for applying the method.

So that is where I am, but I have not been able to do it at all. A part of it appears to be a lack of desire for feeling good (there is an extant tendency towards indifference) and a familiar affective unawareness. Also, there is no remembrance of a PCE, even though I find it reasonable that many were experienced as a child.

Quite a few years ago, I intellectually noticed that the source of most of our problems was in the instincts, but I foolishly concluded that there was no solution. Fortunately, it appears that is not the case. There is no reason now not to confirm it for myself and, ultimately, resolve to end the issue.

I look forward to communicating with you all.

PS: To painstakingly produce this introductory post was very worthwhile. Slowly, I realized that the narrative was not according to the facts (to my surprise) and that I was always attempting to spin and to add things that could be used to make me look good (which is probably how, one after the other, the narrative was weaved). It is amazing how much trickery one employs.

[Kub933]

Hi João,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your sincere introduction. Before actualism I too ended up dipping into the spiritual involvements, primarily because they looked to be the only thing on offer. But deep down like you I was always interested in finding an irrefutable solution to the ‘human condition’.

Later on those spiritual involvements were exposed not only as ultimately ineffective but actively problematic, as in 180 degrees opposite to the goals and means of actualism. Many of the habits from my spiritual years had to be actively undone, reading about your feelings of indifference this may potentially be one such case.

@bn.j

Quite a few years ago, I intellectually noticed that the source of most of our problems was in the instincts, but I foolishly concluded that there was no solution

Yes this is the root of the radicality of actualism, in that a human being discovered (and others since replicated) that it is indeed possible to change human nature irrevocably via altruistic ‘self’-immolation. Although in the meantime before this takes place there is much to be done as a ‘self’ by committing to the challenge of being as happy and as harmless as humanly possible.

@bn.j

Also, there is no remembrance of a PCE, even though I find it reasonable that many were experienced as a child.

Reading your words it seems like there is perhaps some forgotten/deeply lodged memory of the actual perfection and purity which exists here on earth. The connection to that actual perfection and purity is key, ultimately that is the guiding light for an actualist.

Wishing you success on the wide and wondrous path!

Kuba

[bn.j]

Hi Kuba,

I have to say, it feels a bit weird to be replying to you. I almost feel as if I had been reading some comics, or something like that, and all of a sudden jumped into it and started interacting with the characters

@Kub933

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your sincere introduction.

Thank you. As was apparent from my post, it appears that I have work to do, but I do try to be sincere.

@Kub933

Later on those spiritual involvements were exposed not only as ultimately ineffective but actively problematic, as in 180 degrees opposite to the goals and means of actualism. Many of the habits from my spiritual years had to be actively undone, reading about your feelings of indifference this may potentially be one such case.

I definitely relate to that. Even though, strictly speaking, there never was a spiritual practice, I nevertheless assimilated and acquired quite a few pernicious beliefs and habits, with some still to be undone. The habit of feeling indifferent is certainly one of them.

@Kub933

Reading your words it seems like there is perhaps some forgotten/deeply lodged memory of the actual perfection and purity which exists here on earth.

That is what I think too. There is a vague familiarness, but unfortunately, for now, nothing more than that.

@Kub933

Wishing you success on the wide and wondrous path!

Thank you for your kind words.