James' Journal

James: The resentment I had toward you early on was related to my father. I resented him because he was authoritative and I resented you because I perceived you as being authoritative like he was. I don’t have any resentment toward you now.
I don’t have any resentment about being born now. I might have had that when I was younger.

Hi James,
This is excellent to hear.

James; Wow Vineeto, I am listening to you like never before and something is happening. I’m not sure what yet but right now my pain is gone and I haven’t taken my pain meds yet. I feel like I have opened up to a new reality. I am finally really getting what you are saying.

With this new way of reading and listening you might be interesting to re-read Richard’s potent message to Rick from a few years ago which I think fits your present situation quite well -

RICK: I am tempted to tamper with this ‘rapid (and sudden) way to actual freedom’ despite your warning.
RICHARD: With the absolute certainty/ total absence of choice of the PCE the invocation of destiny (oblivion/ extinction) is the deadly simple and fascinated contemplation of the fact that, as physical death is the end of ‘being’ anyway, it might as well happen sooner rather than later. (The oblivion/ extinction of ‘being’ at physical death is entirely without benefit in regards peace-on-earth whereas the oblivion/ extinction of ‘being’ at this moment in time is entirely beneficial to the host body and of a facilitatory benefit to all other bodies).
The fascinated contemplation – ‘fascinated’ as in a moth to a flame – morphs into a pure contemplation (as in an apperceptivity) upon it becoming startlingly apparent as an experiential actuality that this moment in time has no duration.
What this means, to an identity for whom time moves (as in past/ present/ future), is that the keep-it-safe extinction of ‘being’ (cunningly projected into some future moment) will be happening now when it does take place. (Time has no duration in actuality; now, being eternal, is already always dynamic in that everything happens now; nothing ever happens in past/ present/ future time).
As now is the way, then now is the means; as now is the means, then now is the end … !Bingo! … it is no longer possible to distinguish between life being lived and life doing the living as any such cause and effect has vanished without a trace (it never was anyway as time, as in past/ present/ future, has no existence in actuality).
This is ‘my’ moment of glory; this is ‘my’ crowning achievement; this makes ‘my’ petty life all worthwhile; this is ‘my’ most noble sacrifice [1] for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear; this is ‘my’ legacy for all humankind; ‘my’ reward is to go blessedly into the oblivion ‘I’ have secretly craved all along.
‘My’ extinction made all this possible.
Regards, Richard.
P.S.: The key-word is: inevitability. (List D, Rick, 3 December 2009).

[1] ‘Voluntary ‘self’-sacrifice means an altruistic offering, a philanthropic contribution, a generous gift, a charitable donation, a magnanimous present; to devote and give over one’s being as a humane gratuity, an open-handed endowment, a munificent bequest, a kind-hearted benefaction.
A sacrifice is the relinquishment of something valued or desired for the sake of something more important or worthy … it is the deliberate abandonment, relinquishment, forfeiture or loss for the sake of something illustrious, brilliant, extraordinary and excellent.
It means to forgo, quit, vacate, discontinue, stop, cease or immolate so that one’s guerdon is to be able to be unrepressed, unconstrained, unselfconscious, uninhibited, unrestrained, unrestricted, uncontrolled, uncurbed, unchecked, unbridled, candid, outspoken, spontaneous, relaxed, informal, open, free and easy.
As I have remarked before, ‘I’ go out in a blaze of glory’. (List B, No. 33c, 26 June 2000).

Cheers Vineeto

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