James: In reviewing this thread I see that it is the identity itself (‘I’) that makes the self - sacrifice for oneself and all humankind:
RICHARD: Speaking personally, I did not ‘permanently disappear the ‘I’ and the ‘me’’ … it was the identity that did all the work. Who you think and feel and instinctively ‘know’ yourself to be has a job to do: When ‘I’ willingly self-immolate – psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for oneself and all humankind … for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. It is ‘my’ moment of glory. It is ‘my’ crowning achievement … it makes ‘my’ petty life all worth while. It is not an event to be missed … to physically die without having experienced what it is like to become dead is such a waste of a life.
There is an intrinsic trait common to all sentient beings: self-sacrifice. [Richard, List B, James, 24 Sep. 1999]
James: So ‘I’ am not only doing this for myself but for this body, that body and everybody.
This is most definitely worth dying for.
Is it the guardian that is stopping me? (link)
James: I have decided to end myself with myself. I understand now. ‘I’ am the only one that can end ‘I’. Writing the note to myself above did the trick. (link)
Hi James,
It is not only the ‘guardian’, aka the social identity, but your whole ‘being’ (both social identity and the instinctual passions and their resultant feelings) which are “stopping” you.
Richard described it well in a message in 2002 too you, which Geoffrey told me he recommends as essential for reading and comprehending to anyone who wants his advice to becoming actually free –
RICHARD: Okay … I will come at it from another direction then: the bottom line of ‘me’ is suffering (obviously there are times when ‘I’ feel happy, when ‘I’ feel glad, when ‘I’ feel cheerful and so on but whenever those moments pass ‘I’ inevitably revert to ‘my’ default setting).
So, essentially ‘I’ am suffering and, as ‘I’ am addicted to being ‘me’ and being ‘me’ is suffering, ‘I’ am addicted to suffering … it is ‘my’ very nature. What you are (presumably) experiencing right now is ‘me’ as ‘I’ really am when all of the external causes of happiness, gladness, cheerfulness and so on are stripped away … and of course ‘I’ want to ‘play some more now’ because ‘I’ do not like being ‘me’.
Yet, perversely, ‘I’ am addicted to being ‘me’ … and it is this addiction which is why there is no peace on earth. [Richard, List B, James, 24 October 2002]
It requires diligent, and if needed experiential, attention to any feeling which might diminish your feeling good/feeling excellent, and thus would stand in the way as an objection to the ending of ‘you’. Again a reminder that ‘you’ cannot end ‘yourself’.
What ‘you’ can do is give permission, with your whole being, to allow pure intent to have it happen.
This is not a mental/intellectual command you give yourself but both an existential (all of ‘you’) and joyous acquiescence to allow the universe to live you, irrevocably.
Deeply appreciating every step of the way is the clue that you are on the right track.
Cheers Vineeto