I really appreciate that this thread exists.
One thing I still cannot stress enough here, in my original post, is how there is virtually no affections involved in man-woman intimacy if one’s also practicing actualism method by aiming towards “near-innocent intimacy of naïveté” (based, firmly on the memory of their PCE).
I don’t know if everyone realizes how radical this is. No romance, no love, no starry-eyed-looks, no ‘owning’ of the woman (she’s free to be how she is), no demand for reciprocral attraction, no ‘relationships’, no ‘tender’ emotions, no ‘nurturing’ feelings, no “I’m gonna take care of you” romance-lore expression, etc… because simply being here is enough, and on top she, a fellow human, is here with you. Does anyone realize the unconditional nature of this enjoyment?
What more, everything one does together can happen spontaneously without the ‘control’ of these affections; much better than the ‘controller’ can ‘do’ them, in fact (if anything, the ‘controller’ actually active blocks an ongoing intimacy from happening). It is so great to not know what’s gonna happen next; what freedom and what thrill.
All of this blew my mind yesterday as the PCE[1] unfolded. What transpired as a result for me was that the hitherto sexual/romantic energy had no more ‘object’ to latch on to (and thus, the whole ‘self-worth’ complex vanished without a trace!), because a superior alternative has been discovered. The ‘sensate reality’[1:1] is already here anyway. Day-dreams, in particular, still do come back as a habit (we will be meeting in a few days), and if I’m not aware, I can indeed go back to the old ways, but I gently become aware of them and return to imitating my last PCE.
It is like I’ve unlocked ‘a new way of being’. I wish I had known about all of this before. The reason why I kept dodging/arrogating the method, planning new strategms, etc. was ultimately to satisfy the desire for these affections. But it turns out that affections are only a hindrance for unconditional intimacy & immediacy.