Being less 'self'-centric and more considerate

[syd]

@Vineeto

Isn’t it time to put “those childhood hurts” and the resulting “police-force calibre ‘power’” and “aggressive attitude/ approach of yours” behind you and start naïvely playing rather than endeavouring to impose your serious/ sophisticate standards on others?

Also regarding the “childhood hurts” you mentioned: I’ve looked, and I simply don’t have them. My response to Andrew wasn’t fueled by past trauma^[1] or a need for “dominion” . It was a direct response to two specific things:

1. Andrew’s claim that I find change “impossible” was a total misrepresentation. He stripped away the qualifier: “as long as this affectional intimacy remains the main spanner in the works”. My tone was proportional to my persistent attempt to bring the focus back to that specific mechanism (affectional intimacy^[2]) being repeatedly ignored.

2. The rather firm tone and setting “standards” was because of Andrew publicly outing my real name on this forum after I had already asked him privately to stop. Setting a boundary against a breach of privacy isn’t “police-force power”; it’s a requirement for a functional conversation.

Rather than nursing old hurts, I was addressing the fact that Andrew was talking past me while simultaneously violating my privacy (nevermind the political derailments and airing of dirty laundry towards the end).

@Vineeto

You could instead re-awaken your dormant naiveté (being like a child but with adult sensibilities) and keep ‘thinning’ your identity to the point that it becomes more and more insubstantial. When you start naïvely liking yourself, [..]

I understand it intellectually. As for practical actualization, I’ll leave that to the PCE rememoration and actualism method, lest it all be yet another forcing & effortful thing leading to ever-more months/years of ‘actualist lifestyle’.

@Vineeto

When you start naïvely liking yourself, then liking your fellow human beings will happen of its own accord.

This is exactly what I meant by “whereas taking note of and delighting in the world of people, things and events (which naturally includes taking interest in others) is what transpires naturally as I seek to evince the PCE now.”

PCE (and the affective imitation thereof) is the key, everything else (which I decline to grant one rodent’s derriere about) is such a gas.

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1. During my experience with the woman from November, I came to the conclusion that ‘trauma’ basically is a made up concept. What exists is just a bunch of (more granular) affective feeling habits, which one uses the concept of ‘traumas’ to justify the existence of. ↩︎

2. I find it rather astonishing that nobody here but Claudiu seems to visibily grasp the importance of this. As I wrote in Intimacy - #5 by syd “One thing I still cannot stress enough here, in my original post, is how there is virtually no affections involved in man-woman intimacy”. ↩︎