Hunterad's journal

[hunterad]

@Vineeto

A sensible approach. When you say “considering” do you mean mentally considering or does this extend to applying this in practice – being “sincerely well-intentioned” and see what happens?

A bit of both, and it does seem to work when I actually do it.

@Vineeto

Ah, feeling good come what may, to have fun, to enjoy life and being benevolent and considerate is not pacifism – the doctrine of non-violence. With your adult sensibilities you can easily distinguish between the two very distinct categories.

In hindsight I think I didn’t describe my quandary very well here. I suppose I can tell that it is not actually pacifism because it’s plainly not a doctrine or moral I’m following. It would be closer to say that my worry was that naivete will have the same effect as pacifism, where I am not able to defend myself. It’s useful to recognize that a sincerely well intentioned and naive person will be motivated to take action appropriate to the circumstances, even if that means defending themself.

@Vineeto

Yes, confidence comes with practical experience. Waiting for the “final insight” is exactly the opposite of naiveté – to work it all out in your mind beforehand is the very thing preventing it from happening.

This is very helpful, I can see that part of me has been waiting for that final insight for a long time. The other part of me cares enough to just risk it and go in without fully knowing what the outcome will be.

@Vineeto

As for being “defenseless” against physical attacks – once you abandon any notion of having to practice pacifism you can respond as each situation requires, with adult sensibilities. However, if you are concerned about being “defenseless” in the face of taunts, ridicule, injuries to your pride, honour and status, or for sometimes feeling foolish, then Claudiu’s report from January 2025 might give you some clue and encouragement –

Claudiu: The other wondrous recent insight was in seeing how I am actually not ‘special’ in that I am essentially the same as any other feeling-being out there. In terms of what I am at my core. In other words I don’t have to maintain or hold onto or try to prop up any aspect of myself that would set me apart or above anyone else – because I am the same at core! This is something I can’t change – I can only self-immolate to remedy this situation.
This was seen as an immense relief of a huge burden that I no longer have to maintain myself in all these various small ways. In other words I am free to do anything, and anyone is free to say or think or do whatever in response, and none of it matters in terms of me having to prop myself up or defend myself or do anything. Cause I already know I’m not special, there is nothing I can actually defend to change this fact! (link)

Thanks, this is indeed an interesting point! It helps to remember that the self I’m defending is essentially the same as any other ‘self’.

Anyways, I think the way forward seems pretty clear! Continue to cultivate sincerity and naivete, and the confidence that I can function, defend myself, and do everything I need to do will keep growing. It seems like if I my aim is sufficiently pure then it doesn’t really conflict with anything of genuine value.