Hunterad's journal

[hunterad]

@Vineeto

Ah, have you considered how feeling happy and harmless, even when 23hrs a day, compares to being spontaneously felicitous and innocuous every moment of your life? This is not merely a difference in degree but a qualitative difference in kind, so much so that it is inconceivable/ incomprehensible and unimaginable/ unbelievable to any identity whatsoever. It is entirely outside of ‘my’ territory.

Hmm yes, being that does seem to be more than I comprehend.

@Vineeto

Or is the resentment perhaps that you, the interloper, intend to rule the roost for the rest of your physical life with all the misery and mayhem that this entails?

Definitely more on this side. I want to be involved in the living out of the happiness and harmlessness, I want to take credit for it. That’s part of why I tend to corrupt actualism time and time again into something more clever and sophisticated than what it is I think. It is becoming more clear to me how ‘I’ in my essense am diametrically opposed to the happiness and harmlessness, and every time I take credit for it and turn it into my system it loses its purity and gradually degrades.